Government jokes
What do George Washington and a beaver have in common?
They both have eyes.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel had wine and cheese while your loved ones died in the ICU.
Random person: We are taking away your freedoms to keep you safe.
Hitla: That's exactly what I said.
What's the difference between me and the rest of America?
I love one and hate the other.
Russia is worse than the USSR.
Russia is just a bonerless USSR.
Memes
According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form contains only four lines:
1. What was your income for the year?
2. What were your expenses?
3. How much have you left?
4. Send it in.
"Joe Biden's mom is so fat, she's very fat folks, she's so fat I'm gonna use her to build my new wall"-Trump
Our soon to be ex-Justice Minister is trying to distract us from his own misconduct charges by funding advocates for crime victims.
He should fund proctologists too because he'll likely need both after prison.
"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"
Jason Kenney has never worried about putting food on the table for his kids.
"Knuckle babies" don't eat.
Labor party.
Why do orphans prefer the monarchy?
Because they could feel the warm[th] of the royal family.
How would Stephen Hawking get rid of the police?
Go to the junkyard.
Who's the cutest president in the world?
Kim Jong Un, chh💕💕💕
King.
Welcome to politics: You lie to fight and fight to lie.
As the coronavirus pandemic strengthens...
Trump - "Quick, inject yourselves with bleach!"
Also Trump - "I order everyone in America to wear a face mask except for me!"
A man goes into the streets of Moscow and yells, “I am tired of this guy with a silly mustache and stupid rules being a leader!”
A soldier heard him, so he goes and catches him. Later, he brings the man to Stalin. The soldier says to Stalin what happened and Stalin asks the man, “Who were you thinking about when you yelled in the streets?”
The man responds, “Of course, I was thinking about Hitler!”
Stalin lets him go, but then he stops the soldier and says, “Who were YOU thinking about?”
Kim Jong-Un thicc af.
What do you call a dictatorial cow?
Moosilini.