Government jokes
Why are the English so bad at chess?
Because they lost their queen.
"Joe Biden's mom is so fat, she's very fat folks, she's so fat I'm gonna use her to build my new wall"-Trump
Our soon to be ex-Justice Minister is trying to distract us from his own misconduct charges by funding advocates for crime victims.
He should fund proctologists too because he'll likely need both after prison.
The CCP have managed to achieve in making Covid last longer than the Great Wall of China.
Queen, (DYM 86)
💡 idea. Start a confidential organization that only recruits via invite. Stockpile heavy duty weapons in an si when the time comes we can defend America from any domestic threat. *just a silly idea*
In an alternate universe: I don't know how to solve the power of 10, but I do know how to pay taxes.
So an ace gets handed a piece of paper and it says, "Do you like me or no?" and the ace says, "I'm not registered to vote!" Hahahahahahahahjajqh.
Labor party.
Why do orphans prefer the monarchy?
Because they could feel the warm[th] of the royal family.
How would Stephen Hawking get rid of the police?
Go to the junkyard.
Who's the cutest president in the world?
Kim Jong Un, chh💕💕💕
What comes after 611? 711.
What comes after that? 811.
What comes after that? George W. Bush.
Do you know why people in wheelchairs don’t pay for them?
Because they have to pay for road tax.
You know, it was so cold in D.C. the other day, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
If I had a dime for everytime the Australian president shat himself in a McDonald's, I would have one dime, which is not a lot, but it's weird that it happened.
As the coronavirus pandemic strengthens...
Trump - "Quick, inject yourselves with bleach!"
Also Trump - "I order everyone in America to wear a face mask except for me!"
A man goes into the streets of Moscow and yells, “I am tired of this guy with a silly mustache and stupid rules being a leader!”
A soldier heard him, so he goes and catches him. Later, he brings the man to Stalin. The soldier says to Stalin what happened and Stalin asks the man, “Who were you thinking about when you yelled in the streets?”
The man responds, “Of course, I was thinking about Hitler!”
Stalin lets him go, but then he stops the soldier and says, “Who were YOU thinking about?”
Kim Jong-Un thicc af.
"Bippity Boppity Boo, Donald Trump is gonna deport you!"
I was in Russia at a stand-up comedy performance about someone making fun of Putin, but the jokes were awful. The execution was nice, though.