Government jokes
The last two presidents of the US.
If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?
Idaho... Alaska!
"This is the dude who assassinated JFK."
"If you got a question, just shoot!"
A king ordered to execute a gay man.
The gay man came and said, "Please don't behead me, have pity!" The king replied, "I will have pity because I will impale you, let you enjoy your last moments."
Why are most politicians in the closet or gay?
Because all they can do is mandate.
Memes
Republicans were quick to admit however, that the 22nd Amendment was passed in a stolen election to remove FDR.
CIA: Where's your head at?
JFK: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Hey, Britain, no queen? :(
What comes after 611? 711.
What comes after that? 811.
What comes after that? George W. Bush.
Jason Kenney has never worried about putting food on the table for his kids.
"Knuckle babies" don't eat.
King.
If brains were taxed, Slade would get a rebate.
As the coronavirus pandemic strengthens...
Trump - "Quick, inject yourselves with bleach!"
Also Trump - "I order everyone in America to wear a face mask except for me!"
A man goes into the streets of Moscow and yells, “I am tired of this guy with a silly mustache and stupid rules being a leader!”
A soldier heard him, so he goes and catches him. Later, he brings the man to Stalin. The soldier says to Stalin what happened and Stalin asks the man, “Who were you thinking about when you yelled in the streets?”
The man responds, “Of course, I was thinking about Hitler!”
Stalin lets him go, but then he stops the soldier and says, “Who were YOU thinking about?”
Kim Jong-Un thicc af.
In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Midixadrupin, Midixarizin or Dixafix.
I was in Russia at a stand-up comedy performance about someone making fun of Putin, but the jokes were awful. The execution was nice, though.
Trump's coming back.
Yes, yes~.
Trump's coming back!
Good morning, madam. I am from the local council. Can you please tell me if you have a dog license for that poodle you have on your head?
What do you call a dictatorial cow?
Moosilini.
Wanna hear a racist joke?...
Donald Trump.