Government jokes
Random person: We are taking away your freedoms to keep you safe.
Hitla: That's exactly what I said.
"Ahoy, Spongebob! I just committed homicide in Syria, and the one-party state is after my fucking ass! Argagagagagaga!"
What do George Washington and a beaver have in common?
They both have eyes.
What's the difference between me and the rest of America?
I love one and hate the other.
Our soon to be ex-Justice Minister is trying to distract us from his own misconduct charges by funding advocates for crime victims.
He should fund proctologists too because he'll likely need both after prison.
"Joe Biden's mom is so fat, she's very fat folks, she's so fat I'm gonna use her to build my new wall"-Trump
The CCP have managed to achieve in making Covid last longer than the Great Wall of China.
Queen, (DYM 86)
In an alternate universe: I don't know how to solve the power of 10, but I do know how to pay taxes.
So an ace gets handed a piece of paper and it says, "Do you like me or no?" and the ace says, "I'm not registered to vote!" Hahahahahahahahjajqh.
Labor party.
Why do orphans prefer the monarchy?
Because they could feel the warm[th] of the royal family.
How would Stephen Hawking get rid of the police?
Go to the junkyard.
As the coronavirus pandemic strengthens...
Trump - "Quick, inject yourselves with bleach!"
Also Trump - "I order everyone in America to wear a face mask except for me!"
A man goes into the streets of Moscow and yells, “I am tired of this guy with a silly mustache and stupid rules being a leader!”
A soldier heard him, so he goes and catches him. Later, he brings the man to Stalin. The soldier says to Stalin what happened and Stalin asks the man, “Who were you thinking about when you yelled in the streets?”
The man responds, “Of course, I was thinking about Hitler!”
Stalin lets him go, but then he stops the soldier and says, “Who were YOU thinking about?”
Kim Jong-Un thicc af.
"Bippity Boppity Boo, Donald Trump is gonna deport you!"
What do you call a dictatorial cow?
Moosilini.
Good morning, madam. I am from the local council. Can you please tell me if you have a dog license for that poodle you have on your head?
I was in Russia at a stand-up comedy performance about someone making fun of Putin, but the jokes were awful. The execution was nice, though.