My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was such a good pilot.
What the can say to the tomato?
Tomato tomato potato potato find twelve recipe for the both 👍🏾
I put on ingredient sticker read for tasting good.
Good morning.
Well, I was gonna make a joke about drunk people, but that would be good for the health.
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense.
They have to come out of the closet sometime.
What did the water say to the cup?
"Good day!"
You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!
You look good with anything, but nothing works too.
What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke? Timing.
Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*
Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?
Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.
I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.
What's the difference between a cop and bacon?
Bacon is full of fat and makes you feel good. A cop is full of shit and will make you feel their hot steamy cock as they ram it up your ass with some justice sprinkled on top.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
What do you call it when Panera Bread goes to space?
Good question.
One day, little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parents' bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." Little Johnny said, "Who is your partner?" Dad said, "Your mom." On his way up, he passed by his sister's room and noticed sheets bouncing around and asked what she’s doing. She said, "Playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul." The next day, Dad came to ask Johnny a question. The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw the sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." His dad asked him who his partner was. Little Johnny said, "You don’t need a partner if you have a good hand."
Why was the booty so good at poker?
Because it always had a good PAIR.
Why was the booty so good at math?
It knew all the ANGLES.
My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).
So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."
