Good jokes
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.
What's the difference between a cop and bacon?
Bacon is full of fat and makes you feel good. A cop is full of shit and will make you feel their hot steamy cock as they ram it up your ass with some justice sprinkled on top.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
What do you call it when Panera Bread goes to space?
Good question.
One day, little Johnny woke up to get a drink of water. He passed by his parents' bedroom and noticed sheets bouncing. He asked his dad what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." Little Johnny said, "Who is your partner?" Dad said, "Your mom." On his way up, he passed by his sister's room and noticed sheets bouncing around and asked what she’s doing. She said, "Playing cards with my boyfriend, Paul." The next day, Dad came to ask Johnny a question. The father noticed Johnny was still in bed and asked him what he was doing. He saw the sheet bouncing and asked Johnny what he was doing. He said, "Playing cards." His dad asked him who his partner was. Little Johnny said, "You don’t need a partner if you have a good hand."
Why was the booty so good at poker?
Because it always had a good PAIR.
Why was the booty so good at math?
It knew all the ANGLES.
My friend's dad died during 9/11. He was such a good pilot, but my friend kept disturbing him, so when his dad died, he said, "It was you who killed me" (to the child).
So the child said, "Yoo-hoo? What type of name is Yoo-hoo, but Yoo-hoo, Yoo-hoo come here, I need to kill you NOW."
Why don't booties make good drummers?
They can't keep a beat without making a FART NOISE.
Sex is like pizza.
When it’s hot, it’s great.
When it’s cold, it’s still pretty good.
Do you want to be in Heaven with Jesus, our savior, or be on Earth with bad things?
Why was the rapper always in good shape?
Because he dropped the mic and picked up weights!
A normal exorcism is getting a demon out of a person, but a reverse exorcism is the devil telling the priest to get out of the child.
What do KFC and pussy have in common?
Both are finger lickin' good, and after you are done eating, you have a box to put the bone in.
Why aren't Americans good at Clash Royale?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
"Just ditched a woman. Feelin' good!" -Techno
Why was the rapper always calm during storms?
Because he had a good FLOW.
Why didn't the movie star argue with the customer service clerk?
He didn't have a good counter act!
Why was the rapper always in good shape?
Because he never skipped a beat!
Why did the rapper become a chef?
Because he was good at SERVING RHYMES.