God jokes
Hey guys! Want to know something cool? Google Jesus' language. It's Aramaic.
Next, google "God in Aramaic". See the results for yourself. <3
"I’m on a hunt for my wife’s murderer, have been for years."
"Oh my God! Your wife’s been murdered?!"
"No no, you misunderstand. I’m still looking for him."
God, those orphans were putting up such a fight, I had to lock 'em in the basement.
What did God say to the good shepherd?
Nothing.
Men and women are not equal, speaking biologically and mentally. I don't care what other feminists say. Men are naturally physically stronger, while women are more mentally stable (sometimes). The internet and the media will lie. You feminists say that you are stronger. Well, you wish. You can't hit a girl because she is more sensitive, but she says she is stronger. Like, what the hell?
We're not sexist men; you're sexist women. And BTW, you'll rot in hell for hating God's creation. And also, men were created before women. Search it up in the Bible or online.
Based
Yo mama's hairline is so god damn far back even Joe Biden wouldn't sniff it.
Me, Joe Biden: What do you mean *snifff*
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday.
God being a sniper is so fun!
Holy fucking shit, Addison, watersharky, Gwen, and all of you other cringelords, I swear to God if I hear one more thing about "please be kind, no bullying on the internet," I will actually shoot my local school.
You may not know, since you are only 8 years old or whatever, but the world is not kind. It’s full of sick people out to beat others, and the only way to stay safe is to beat them. So even if you think you are spreading kindness, it’s just gonna make you a target. So just stfu and keep your "please be kind" messages to yourselves.
And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.
I asked an orphan where his parents were.
(God, I wish I knew)
A feminist walks into a bar. Her friend says, "Oh my god, your shoulders are broad!" Another woman says, "Are you sure it's a woman?"
Why did God make the devils die?
God is great!
God, my dad got so pissed during 9/11.
All that work wasted.
A friend of mine chews gum, lays back to yawn, then chokes on the gum. Then I said, "God, what, you choking on dick?"
God: Why is the teenager so short?
Angel: I don't know.
God: I said, "Strong as a bear!"
Angel: No, you said, "Ass hair."
God: No, I didn't!
What did one God say to the other?
"I will die to be a man."
Girl: "Daddy!"
Father: "Do I love you?"
Girl: "I'm a... a girl!"
Father: "Mhm!"
Woman: "Daddy?"
Father: "Of course?"
Woman: "I'm a girl too!"
Father: "Does God love children?"
Boy: "Yessss..."
Hello, this is Godlygirl26. I want to help people with their problems no matter what. There is nothing that God cannot do. I want y'all to know that God is with you, not any of those stone or wood "gods" but a true, loving, powerful God. DM this right here and I will answer. Hope I can help you! Love, Godlygirl26.
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
Women have so much evil in their blood that God has to drain it once a month. Hehehehehe