God Jokes


in Wife

When God had to take a shit from making a good wife. You pasted between his ass cheeks...


in Depression

Me: Wanna hear a joke? Person: Sure Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life. But my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning Person: Dear god..



God my dad got so pissed during 9/11.

All that work wasted.


When God created mankind, he said, "Damn it! One is off color, the other yellowish. The last one is burnt!"


God died for your sins, so basically if you don't sin then Jesus died for nothing


Woman gets pulled over by a cop Cop: ma'am have you been drink Lady: no officer Cop: what's that in your cup then ma'am Lady: just water officer Cop: looks like wine to me Lady: oh my god Jesus did it again


in America

Did you know that..

Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.

Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.

(Kizaru's back.)



Jingle bells, jingle bells! OH GOD, SANTA FELL! I guess it's time for Mrs. Claus to go straight down to hell!

Joe Biden________

Yo mamma's hairline so god damn far back even Joe Biden wouldn't sniff it

Me Joe Biden: What do you mean *snifff*



*fat man coming in the store* waiter oh god not again :| fat man : hi i would like 3 fries and 19 burgers waiter : sorry sir you will get the owners store out of stock on food can i get you a salad instead? fat man : oh sorry but im the owner and i have alot of stocks the for he record you should get yourself a my order your skinny af gurl you trading to be a stick or something?



A guy sees a kid crying and the guy walkes up to the kid and asks were are your parents...God i love working at an orphanage

Mrr. XD

what's a cows favorite newspaper? The Daily M0Os oh my frcikig god cleared my history and forgot my password for this, 3th account

Mr. XD

So I bus crashes killing everyone on the bus and god feels so bad that he gives each one a wish so the first person comes up and she wants to be beautiful so god makes her beautiful and she goes into heaven next person comes up and he says I want to be beautiful as well as the last man in the back begins laughing a little so this goes on everyone becoming beautiful until god asked the last person what they want and he said I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again! so god had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted



Scratches on an icy road and kills or 50 people on the bus and when they get to heaven God feel so bad for them and grants them all one wish the first lady in the line was always worried about her looks so she wish to be beautiful and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to want to wish about so he also wish to be beautiful but this keep on going but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh when he got to God he said God says what’s what is your one wish my son I wish you can make them all ugly again


Why God did create sex for marriage?

Because he wanted more people, and less fun.


have you seen my uncle. Jesus:i have God:me too



If we can't say god in vane why dose he get to.

Dark Humor


god sent to the principles office for giving a blind kid sun glasses and said dont let the sun damage your eyes.


What did god say when he created the first black person? Behold, this specimen of divine integrity