God Jokes

Poultry rape is no joke. It is God's gift to those who want a laugh.

Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it? God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!

God You’re having a good day? Me yes beats burning in hell

The dear God created the man. Then he created woman. When he then saw what he had done, he took care of tobacco and alcohol.

Did you know that..

Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.

Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.

(Kizaru's back.)

I can't have my Oreos 😭 Why?

My dad stall hasn't came back with that God damn milk

What did the pirate say when he saw a ghost (he said oh my god it s me dead parrot

"If you yeet one thing that has been yoted, the yeet gods will help you"-Chris Tyson, MrBeast's friend, and your mom >:)

Thank god I went on the tenth

What’s the difference between God and Hitler? God made thousands Of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast

A doctor walks into the room and tells his patient, "I have some bad news for you. You really have to stop masturbating." The man looks aghast and says, "Oh my God, doc, why?!" The doctor replies, "I'm trying to examine you."

What's the difference between a surgeon and God?

God knows he's not a surgeon.

What does a paedophile say when he gets to heaven? A: Where's the holy baby?

So I bus crashes killing everyone on the bus and god feels so bad that he gives each one a wish so the first person comes up and she wants to be beautiful so god makes her beautiful and she goes into heaven next person comes up and he says I want to be beautiful as well as the last man in the back begins laughing a little so this goes on everyone becoming beautiful until god asked the last person what they want and he said I want everyone in front of me to be ugly again! so god had to call the based department and gave him everything that last guy wanted

My god my egg jokes are eggcellent

A guy goes in to get some tests done, the doctor comes out and says "I got good news and bad news." The guy says "Ok, let's get the bad news out of the way." The doctor says "The tests cam back positive, you got 2 weeks to live." The guy says, "Oh My God!! Then what the hell is the good news?" Doctor says "You see that nurse over there, the one with the big tits? I'm screwin her."