Go jokes

This guy called anonymous said he's going to own me like he did my mum. Joke's on him, I have two dads.

Want to know what I do in my freetime?

Punch an orphan, cuz what are they going to do, tell their mom?

What did the Titanic say while sinking?

"It's going down."

Little Johnny walked into his parents' room to see them going at it.

He asked his mom what they were doing, and she said, "Uh, we're play fighting," and he's like, "With no clothes on?"

She said, "Yeah," and so he said, "Let me join you then..."

Why was the orphan confused at the baseball game?

They kept yelling, "Go home!"

Does anyone know what's going on with all the creeps that joined and restart your school laptop to get everything unblocked?

I found a rock at the park. I threw it at some orphans.

What would they do? Go to their family?

My Dad was mowing the grass today. I looked out the window and saw him slumped over the lawnmower. Apparently, he was just going through a rough patch.

I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.

A kid had school today.

He was late every single day. He said in his mind, "I wish I can go to school again." What happened? It's obvious...... He died :)

Hi, I love you. You know I do. What a good night of a good time and time to go, oooo!

Where do cows go for entertainment?

The MOOOOvie theater.

Why did the pillow go to court?

Because it had a pillowcase!

Where does a pianist go on vacation?

The Florida Keys.

Going to church, you don't think you are Christian.

Sleeping with ten men, you don't think you are straight.

Confucius say, man who go through turn table is going to Bangkok.

So, I saw two homeless people on the road fighting. I said, "Stop fighting and go home." I guess it was a little insensitive.

Husband: Dammit, Alice! I'm your husband, and I'm telling you that you better stay in this kitchen if you know what's good for you!

Wife: Go to hell, Bob! I'm leaving!

Ignoring my protective advice, Alice stormed out of our underground kitchen, even though it was the safest place to be while the nuclear war still raged outside.

How do you start a dance party?

Go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold.

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air, and men with spears are there.

One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So, what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."

The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."

The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."

And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."

The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the Queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS!”