Do you know where priests go at night???????
To all night sale a boys r us
So There was a male whale and a female whale swimming threw the ocean .One day the male whale sees a ship and says "that's the ship that killed my parents" . So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea. The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive so he opened his mouth and went for the man but out nowhere the female whale yells. " HEY!!, I was in it for the blowjob but I'm not gonna eat sea men"
I told my mom do you want to see a magic trick she said yes. I said you are going to have hot dog and cream pie together. My mom said no I'm not, but I told my mom I'm going to need your assistance. First I need you to lick and suck on my hot dog that is attach to me which she did, the next minute my mom has a cream pie over here face. Then I told my mom you see you are going to have a hot dog and cream pie together. Then my mom said when you are you right you are right.
what did the flower say to the crazy penut?
Ur going nuts boii get back on yo' plant ur to nuts for me
Signs my cousin is going places when he's older: TEST QUESTION: where was the declaration of independence signed? He wrote: at the bottom of the page. Smart kid
I kidnapped an ophan what are they going to do cry for mom
Why doesn’t the sun ☀️ go to college?
Because it has a million degrees.
On my 21st Birthday my mom told me I got a nice birthday present for you. As the son and only child your going to to get something good and something you been looking forward to is what my mom said. Me my mom and my on;y friend celebrate my Birthday then we all went to sleep I woke up the next day I ask hey where my gift you said you got me. My mom said since your father left us you have have no father figure in your life. So this is your new step father the only thing it was my only friend.
Q:Why did the first Koala Fall off the tree A: Because it was dead Q: Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead too. Q:Why did the third Koala fall off the tree A: Because it was hit by the other two Koalas on the way down Q:Why did the fourth Koala fall off the tree A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in Q: Why did the fifth Koala fall off the tree A: Because it was curious to see where the others were going Q: Why did the sixth Koala fall off the tree A: It was tied to the fifth koala Q: Why did the seventh Koala fall off the tree A: Peer group pressure
Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you. mucho_mango: just woke up from my dream what was that.
As a son I like sports and I watch sports with my mom. So one day we were looking at football. My mom ask me who makes the most money I said the quarter back. My mom told me I going to get a quarter back has my new boyfriend and it be your new step father. a week lady my mom went out I came home I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said whats going on my mom said look my new boyfriend and new step father is the high school quarter back. My mom said see mission accomplish. I said yeah job well done.
What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?
Say you've parked your car in a bad spot, and are just going move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address
Why couldn't the skeleton go to the prom, because he had no BODY to go with.... i could have said a skeleTON more jokes.. but i think that might brake your funny bone
True Story of Little Red Riding Hood The big bad wolf told Red Riding Hood to strip. He looled at her pussy and said "Now I will fuck you! " Red pulled-out a shotgun from umder her coat and said "Oh no you"re not. You're not, you're going to eat me just like it says in the book!"
A kid came from school. His mother said "What did you do in school?" The boy replied "I had sex with my my Teacher" She said "OH MY GOD, GO TO YOUR ROOM, WAIT UNTIL YOUR DAD COMES!" He waited, then his dad walked in and said "Your mother told me what you did. I'm proud of you son. Let's go buy you a bicycle." When they arrived to the store The dad said " Try out and see which seat is the comfortable." The boy said "I can't, my butt is sore" Dad said "Why is your butt sore" The Boy said "Because I had sex with my teacher".
one day little Johnny came home with his girlfriend and told his dad "were gonna go to my room and do some homework" and his dad said ok 5 minutes later little Johnny's dad heard noises coming from his room so he went to go see what it was and all he heard was "baby baby oh baby baby oh" little Johnny's dad started banging on the door and said "little Johnny what are you doing in there" then little Johnny said "dad were just having sex" then little Johnny's dad said " oh i thought you were listing to some Justin bibber up in here
what do ants and Michael Jackson have in common. They go in kids pants
I got up one day my neighbor was in my house and was going to take me, and my mom out. I show my mom and my neighbor a trick. They both liked it. I ask my neighbor do you know any tricks he said yes, in matter of fact I could tell you what your mom had for breakfast. I said how well my neighbor lick my mom ass, and ate her pussy out in front me. He told me my mom had pancakes. So we were in the car I ask my neighbor How did you know what my mom had pancakes for breakfast. My neighbor said well that is what your mom made me while we were waiting for you to get up.
Snover1:You can't pass through Snow Way!
Squirtle: Why I can't pass through Snow Way?
Snover1: There's snow in the way.
Snover2:Yeah, you can't get past through the snow while it's on the way, to continous.
Squirtle: What? There's snow in here the whole time. What is this? Snow Society-?!
"AAAAARRRGGH!!"
Squirtle:Who is that?
Snover2:That is Snow.
Squirtle:What?! That is giant snow tree thing is Abomasnow!
Snover2:Oops! Don't be a Halt!
"Haaaaaaaaallllltttt!!!"
"Aaaaaauuuuggghhhh!"
Snovers: That was a JOKE, Squirtle be FROZEN, just let it go, let it go!
A teenage guy is taking a girl to a dance. First, he goes to buy her flowers. But there’s a really long line at the florist. Finally, he buys them. Then, he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a really long line for that too. After a few hours, he gets the tux. That night, he picks up the girl and they go to the school for the dance. There’s a long line to get in that goes halfway around the school. A while later, they finally get in. They dance and talk for a while, then the guy gets thirsty, so he goes over to the table to get punch. There is no punch line.
