Go jokes
My willy was feeling itchy, so I decided to go to the doctor.
My doctor was foreign and spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. As I returned home, I noticed my willy was gone! Pessi stole my PENis thinking it was a Penalty just so he could statpad. SHAME ON YOU!
An astronaut has had a mid-life crisis. He decides to leave everything behind and become a country farmer.
He buys some land and equips himself with everything he needs. The following Monday, he's ready to go with his hoe in hand and is about to walk out the gate, but he can't get through.
Why, you might ask? He's got no arms.
Why can't orphans go to homecoming? Because they don't have a home to go to.
Why did the vampire go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
I support LGBTQ.
Let's Go Bully The Queers.
Why does rapeboat like going to the dog shelter? It's cheaper than a whore house.
Why did the alien go to the rap battle?
Because he had some UNEARTHLY rhymes!
Why did the terrorist not go undercover?
Because he blew it!
If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?
"Ghost Musterd."
Orthodox Christians are a little slow; they take 13 days to get the joke. So go easy on them, alright?
Where did George go?
Washington, D.C.
Why can't orphans cross the street? Because they can't go home.
Is your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go wayyyy back?
Your forehead so big you got to go outside to think.
I just prevented an 11-year-old from getting assaulted.
I decided to go home.
Why did the chicken go to the mall?
To get new feathers!
Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.
The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.
The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.
In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they can't go home.
I felt bad for the orphan because he couldn't go on a field trip, you know why?
Parent signature: _________
Regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist.
Me: I'm depressed, so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time, destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches, and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain.