Go jokes

So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop, so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it. Jokes on her, she doesn't have any fingers.

Women: “Men used to go to war, now they go to clubs.”

Men: “Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked, now it’s $3.99.”

Why did Mexicans go to Area 51?

To show them what a real illegal alien looks like.

My wife left me for an Indian guy. I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.

How are Xbox servers like hookers? First they take my money, and then they go down on me.

Today, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.

My parents are the worst.

Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination, but he did go everywhere.

So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."

Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?

The orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home.

Why did the lemon 🍋 go to the doctor 👩‍⚕️?

Because he had a sour stomach.

Where did Sarah go after the bombing?

Everywhere. 💀

So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.

The boy turns to the man and says, "Hey mister, it's getting dark out, and I’m scared... Can we go back now?"

So the man says: "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"

I brought my cousin to an arcade and I gave her $5 to go play a game, but she tugged my joystick too hard.

What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.

Place a man in a morgue, he'll try to leave.

Place a doctor in a morgue, he'll go to work.

Place a necrophiliac in a morgue, he'll stay happy for a week.

*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."

Person 2: "Probably Bullets."

Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"

Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."

Person 1: "...."

Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."

Why can't an orphan go to McDonald's? There's no point in the words "happy meal."

Like this if you laughed.

These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.

I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.

Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.

Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back. (Clearly someone didn't come back with the milk)

Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.

What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.

Hope you had fun reading this! My friend and I laughed reading all of em!

A boy walks in on his parents having sex. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the boy screams at his father, and runs out of the room.

Soon, the parents hear screams coming from the father's mother's room. They both go running. They see the little boy pumping into his grandmother like anything. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the father screams. "It's not so easy when it's your mother is it?" says the boy.