Go jokes

My wife left me for an Indian guy. I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.

How are Xbox servers like hookers? First they take my money, and then they go down on me.

The orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home.

Why did the slave go to college?

To get his master's degree.

Q: Why can't orphans be on a football team?

A: Because they won't know where to go on a home game.

Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination, but he did go everywhere.

So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."

Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?

Why did the lemon 🍋 go to the doctor 👩‍⚕️?

Because he had a sour stomach.

So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.

The boy turns to the man and says, "Hey mister, it's getting dark out, and I’m scared... Can we go back now?"

So the man says: "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"

For sale: Dead canary.

Not going cheep.

A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel, and when all of a sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says, "Father, what is that?" He says, "This, sister, is the wand of life." The nun says, "Good, now go stick it in that camel's ass and let’s get the hell out of here!"

Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car?

Because he wanted people to say look at that S-car go when he rolled by.

3/7 of a chicken, 2/3 cat, 1/2 goat. What do you get when you cross those?

Answer: Chi-ca-go

Place a man in a morgue, he'll try to leave.

Place a doctor in a morgue, he'll go to work.

Place a necrophiliac in a morgue, he'll stay happy for a week.

The teacher of the ELA class said that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next to the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he said, "Me, I'm going home." Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and said, "At the end of this ruler is an idiot," he got suspended for asking which end.

I brought my cousin to an arcade and I gave her $5 to go play a game, but she tugged my joystick too hard.

The gas prices are going up so much that even Hitler is killing himself.

*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."

Person 2: "Probably Bullets."

Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"

Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."

Person 1: "...."

Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."

What's Kobe's favorite song? "It's Going Down" for real.