Go jokes
Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee. His dad sees this and says, "I saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks." Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like honey anyway." About fifteen minutes later, Little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says, "I saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like butter anyway." Both Little Johnny and his dad go in for dinner. Johnny's mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. Little Johnny looks and smiles and says, "Do you want to tell her or should I?"
Women: “Men used to go to war, now they go to clubs.”
Men: “Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked, now it’s $3.99.”
So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop, so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it. Jokes on her, she doesn't have any fingers.
Why did Mexicans go to Area 51?
To show them what a real illegal alien looks like.
If you're going to be a smart ass, you have to be smart, or you're just an ass.
Why did the lemon 🍋 go to the doctor 👩⚕️?
Because he had a sour stomach.
A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "Now were not even allowed to do that."
How are Xbox servers like hookers? First they take my money, and then they go down on me.
I love eating pussy. That’s why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.
Today, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?
Where did JFK go in his car? I am not sure of his intentional destination, but he did go everywhere.
So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."
The orphan started crying at school when he got suspended and had to go home.
Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?
They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.
Where did Sarah go after the bombing?
Everywhere. 💀
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
The boy turns to the man and says, "Hey mister, it's getting dark out, and I’m scared... Can we go back now?"
So the man says: "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"
I brought my cousin to an arcade and I gave her $5 to go play a game, but she tugged my joystick too hard.
Where do keyboards go to have dinner?
The space bar!!!
What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.