Go jokes
Why did the pig decline to go to the farmer's house?
He would take him to a "pignic."
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? The front desk always asks, “Where are your parents?”
Why did the clock eat so fast?
He wanted to go in for SECONDS! Super bad, huh?
This joke is kinda offensive, but here you go.
What’s the longest joke of the year? Pride month.
Why did the ass go to therapy?
It couldn't deal with all the crap.
Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?
Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.
Orphan: Can I go outside?
Coworker at orphanage: Go ask your mom.
Orphan: WAWAWAWAWAW
This kid was going to sleep and he said, "Night, Mum. Night, Dad. And night, Grandma, and bye, Grandpa." The next morning, Grandpa died, and the next night he said, "Night, Dad. Night, Mum. Night, Grandma." Grandma died the next morning. The next night he said, "Night, Mum, bye, Dad," and they heard the postman died because he was the dad, lol.
"Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it!"
So you can't pay rent and you know you're going to get evicted, but all of the sudden you hear a knock on your door and it's your landlord, but he's naked and erect, and on his cock, it says, "Your rent is due."
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
A rich man and a poor man are talking about anniversaries. The rich man got his wife a Mercedes and a diamond ring. He says if the wife does not like the ring, she can take the Mercedes and leave.
The poor man said he got his wife slippers and a dildo. He says if his wife does not like the slippers, she can go and fuck herself.
Why isn't Stephen Hawking going to heaven?
Because he's British.
This pastor decided to skip church one Sunday morning and go play golf.
He told his assistant that he wasn't feeling well. He drove to a golf course in another city, so nobody would know him.
He teed off on the first hole. A huge gust of wind caught his ball, carried it an extra hundred yards and dropped it right in the hole, for a 450 yard hole in one.
An angel looked at God and said "What'd you do that for?" God smiled and said "Who's he going to tell?"
Listen, my brothers, if you see a photo of her with another person,
Just go to her house and shoot her with your AK47.
People in 1 Ad: I bet we will have the best technology ever in 2023.
2023: GO BACK NOW! THERE'S 50 THOUSAND GENDERS, DUMB GEN Z, TIK TOK, WE NEED JESUS!
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.
What does NASA say when they don’t want to go in space: Never Access Space Again.
Can we go back to 2001?
I bet it was more fun back then.