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Orphan

Why can't an orphan go to McDonald's? There's no point in the words "happy meal."

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  • Paper

    I was going to watch the origami world championships before it folded.

    But it was only on paper view.

    Memes

    Dark Humor

    *Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."

    Person 2: "Probably Bullets."

    Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"

    Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."

    Person 1: "...."

    Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."

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  • Orphan

    If you want to pick on someone, pick on orphans. Let them tell their parents.

    Double!

    Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!

    Triple!

    Why did Bob cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

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  • Trump

    Obama, Trump, and Clinton are on the Titanic. The ship hits the iceberg and is going down.

    Obama: "This is terrible! We've got to do something -- save the women and children!"

    Trump: "Screw the women and children!"

    Clinton: "Do you think we have time...?"

    March

    My friend group is pretty diverse. I'm Japanese, one friend is Filipino, one is American, one is Italian, and the last one is German.

    Out of everyone in the friend group, the Filipino and the American were the quickest to feel uncomfortable when I asked, "Who wants to go on a march with me?"

    Train

    Three blondes were taking a walk when they stumbled on some tracks. They argued on what the tracks came from. One of them said, "it's a deer." The other said, "No it's a coyote." The last one was going to give her thoughts, but that was when the train hit them.

    Orphan

    Like this if you laughed.

    These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.

    I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.

    Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

    Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.

    Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back. (Clearly someone didn't come back with the milk)

    Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.

    What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.

    Hope you had fun reading this! My friend and I laughed reading all of em!

    Mass Murder

    Don't you just want to go on a mass murder while listening to goodbye Moonman? Oh, just me... OK.

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  • Train

    Three guys are in the woods, a really smart guy, an average guy, and a really dumb guy. They're bored, so the smart guy decides to go hunting. A little while later he comes back with a deer. The average guy asks, "How did you do that?" The really smart guy says, "I see deer tracks, I follow deer tracks, I see deer, I shoot deer." The average guy says, "I think I understand," and leaves. A little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb guy goes *gasp*, "How did you do that!?" And the average looks at him funny and says, "Well, I see raccoon tracks, I follow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon, I shoot raccoon." The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says, "Oooohh, ok, I think I can do that..." and leaves.

    Hours pass, and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mangled. They run to help him. Finally, one of the guys asks him what happened. This is what he said: "I see train tracks, I follow train tracks, I see train, I shoot train. But train keep coming."

    Pill

    Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and have some fun.

    Silly Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son.

    Baby

    I was going to tell a joke about babies, but I decided to abort.

    Dog

    So, an Irish man is walking his poodle, and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints.

    So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says, "Sorry, you can’t go in." The Irish man says, "Why can’t I go in?" "Well, you have a dog, sir, and that sign over there says no dogs allowed. You’re going to have to leave him outside." Well, the Irish man thinks quick and says, "I’m blind; it’s a seeing eye dog." The owner says, "That’s ridiculous. A seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that." The Irish man says, "Well, what kind of dog did they give me??"😂

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  • Tie

    Why are Trump's ties so long?

    Because they go all the way to Russia.

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