Give

Give jokes

Camera

  • How do you know when you're disliked?

    When they always give you the camera for group photos.

    Sister

  • My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.

    In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.

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  • Asthma

  • I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!

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  • Penalty

  • I was walking down the streets of Manchester when suddenly I saw Penaldo getting arrested! I heard the officer say, “This time I give you warning, there will be no penalty.”

    That’s when Penaldo asked, “No penalty?!” and punched the police officer.

    Shame on you Penaldo!

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  • Head

  • Remember the big forehead kid who said, "Give me a knife, I'm going to kill myself" because of being bullied?

    His head was too big to even exist, and that's why he's dead.

    Mom

  • My mom told me to make my dad smile, and she will give me $100, so I said, "The Cowboys are gonna win the Super Bowl." He smiled, but my mom didn't give it to me.

    Anyways, I forgot about my package coming, and the mailman came, and I said, "I like your hat; teal looks nice on you," and he smiled, and my mom gave me $100.

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  • Position

  • Everybody is wondering what position Kenny will give his brother in their new company.

    Probably top.

    Kenny likes to be the bottom in every sexual encounter.

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  • Support

  • I, for one, give President Joe Biden my full support, and anything else he can find in my previously rented gym locker. 🤣

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  • Pedophile

  • A pedophile pulls up to little Jonny, lowers his window and asks, "hey little boy, if I give you a lolly, will you come in my car?" Little Jonny replies, "Give me the whole packet and I’ll come in your mouth."

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  • Orphan

  • So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?

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  • News

  • "I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient.

    "Give me the good news first," the patient said.

    "Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live."

    "That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"

    "I've been trying to reach you for two days."

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  • Orphan

  • At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.

    Orphan

  • Why can orphans give all you people posting all these stupid orphan jokes over and over again a good kick in the face?

    Well, what are you gonna do, tell their parents?

    P.S. Stop posting stupid orphan jokes over and over again.