Give

Give jokes

How do you keep a blind kid entertained?

You take him to a stadium crowd, then give him a bat and tell him to hit the piñata.

What should people do with their floppy dicks?

I give them a good wiggle waggle to raise awareness of something!

A kid asks his dad why his name is Experience. The dad says, "That's what we give our mistakes."

If you give this a thumbs down, you're gay. If you give it a thumbs up, you're straight.

Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.

Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.

Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.

Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.

Everyone give this joke a thumb's down and see if it can become the worst rated joke on the site.

Why are hindustan bhai so good at Python?

When they are hungry, they use Python and take credit card information ;). You know what they say, you give a man a curry and he eats for a day, you give a man a language and he eats for a lifetime.

What are four ways a condom is like a Republican elephant?

1. It stands for inflation.

2. It limits production.

3. It encourages cooperation.

4. It gives you a feeling of security even though you know you're being screwed.

I'm torn on the issue of abortion. I'm pro-abortion because it kills babies, but I'm against abortion because it gives women a choice.

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    • Bully: "Shut up and give me your money, otherwise I will tell everyone that you are still a virgin."

    Boy: "Haha, I am not a virgin anymore."

    Bully: "Haha, nice joke."

    Boy: "If you don't believe then ask your sister or brother."

    Bully: "Hah, I don't have any sibling."

    Boy: "Will just wait for 9 months then u will know."

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    • I was walking down Main Street when I saw a child.

    I told him, "I will give you 20$ if you get my balls back from the vet."

    He replied, "Why did they take your balls sir?"

    "Beer plus going to the vet does not work well for everybody, especially when you're a furry."

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    • A guy starts texting a cute girl and asks her to give him her phone number so he can call her. The girl says, "OK, but you have to transfer mobile balance to my number. Then I am gonna be your girlfriend and will meet you somewhere." He transfers her the balance and calls her, but it turns out the girl was actually a guy making him a fool. He blocked him.

    The next day, he was very angry about himself being a fool, so he thought he'd do the same. He makes a fake girl account and starts texting with some random guy, and then he asks that guy to send him balance. Suddenly, his father came into his bedroom and asked, "Son, can you send me some balance? I am gonna send you cash after sometime." That guy looks at his father with suspicious eyes, and then he calls that random number. Suddenly his father's phone starts ringing......

    If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.

    But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.

    Why you never have to give a balloon to Elsa?

    Because she will let it goooooooooooooooo let it goooo!

    I bet a disabled kid on a wheelchair that if he could catch me, I'd give him 1000 dollars. He said deal, and I went upstairs.

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    • People always often say to someone who are thinking about suicide that's the easy way out. Don't give up! All I say is I'm not giving up, just I'm giving in, and does it really seem like it's the easiest way out? I don't think so, it's probably the hardest if you ask me, or I would have done it already, but someone's got to do it.