Girls Jokes

Girl: Hey.

Orphan: Hi.

Girl: Wanna be friends?

Orphan: Sure.

Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.

Anybody know a girl named Candice? She just added me on snap.

A girl tried 77.34 (77.34) times to think of a word opposite of BYE. Then her brother divided the word BYE. 77.34 divided by 100. TRY IT!!

Q. If I go 1 on 1 with Harvey Weinstein, I won't get raped?

A. I'm not a 14-year-old girl.

Why are girls and rocks so alike?

If they're flat, they get skipped.

SO TRUE

The image shows a collection of items and phrases associated with a loud, annoying girl at school. The text reads: "Annoying loud girl at school." Items include a black hoodie with "Thrasher" on it, a bag of Takis, a can of Arizona iced tea, a gold nameplate necklace that says "Tammy", black Nike slides, and a hand with long pink nails. Some phrases include: "HEY BESTFRIENDD!!" "BESTFRANNNN", "What you staring at for", "Always fighting", and "That's on periodt sis". The image also includes a photo of a girl. The text "Loudest person at 7am" is at the bottom.

What turns a girl on more than having sex with her?

When she finds out that you have a vibrator too.

A blond-haired girl, a brown-haired girl, and a ginger-haired girl were out walking when they came across some tracks.

The brown-haired girl looked at them and said, "I think they are elephant tracks."

Then the ginger-haired girl looked at the tracks and said, "No way, they are definitely duck tracks."

Finally, the blond-haired girl bent down to examine the tracks when she got hit by the train.

Have you heard about the pedophile who was guilty of robbery?

He took a girl's innocence.

Hey girl, do you like Harry Potter?

Because I want to wingardium leviosa up that skirt, alohamora those legs open, and aqua erupto inside of your leaky cauldron.

Everything is made in China... except for baby girls.

She wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, and we're both getting sent home from school because it's distracting to boys, apparently.

Do you know what's the difference between a knife and a girl's argument?

A knife has a point.

What is the best type of girl to fuck?

Homeless girls, because after, you can drop them off anywhere.

There is this cute Russian girl in my class, yet she hasn't asked me out for vodka.

What do you call it when an Arab girl has an abortion?

Removing a bomb.

One day at school, I made fun of a girl who lost her hair from cancer, and my parents made me shave my head.

The next day at school, I made fun of an orphan.

An emo girl and a squirrel both fall out of a tree. Who hits the ground first? The squirrel. The rope stops the emo girl.

What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas?

I don't know, she's still trying to open it...

I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.

...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.

I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"

Once there were three girls taking a walk in the mountains. One was a brunette, one was a redhead, and the other was a dumb blonde. They came to a cliff and the brunette said, "If you jump off that cliff and say what you want to be you will become it." So the brunette jumped off and said "falcon" and became a falcon. The redhead jumped off and said "eagle" and became an eagle. The dumb blonde ran, was about to jump, but tripped on a rock, and said "crap."