Girls jokes

"Lemme clap your girl's booty cheeks, daddy papi."

I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"

He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."

Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.

What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.

A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.

His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"

The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."

I think my family is racist.

I brought a black girl home, and my wife went crazy and told me to pack my bags, and my kids were upset.

Hey girl, are you a drill sergeant, because you have my privates' attention.

Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.

What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?

Nothing, you told her twice.

How to get a girl in three steps:

Step 1: grab a pillow.

Step 2: grab a blanket.

Step 3: keep dreaming.

A girl tried 77.34 (77.34) times to think of a word opposite of BYE. Then her brother divided the word BYE. 77.34 divided by 100. TRY IT!!

There are two siblings, a little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night and take her home. So they get to the bigger brother's house and walk into his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk beds. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "Whenever you feel good, say 'lettuce,' and whenever you want to switch positions say 'tomato'." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato," and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, "Can you guys stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over me."

A lady runs into a police station and yells, "Help, help! I've been graped!"

A police officer says, "Do you mean raped?"

The girl then replies, "No, there was a bunch of 'em!"

Girl 1: Dad, why is my name Rose?

Dad: Because a rose landed on your head.

Girl 2: Hey, Dad, why is my name Daisy?

Dad: Because a daisy landed on your head.

Boy: Hitddvjkyrefbhhhrurrrr!

Dad: Oh, hey Brick!

You'd think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no... oh no, he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.

Why did the little girl's ice cream melt?

She was on fire.

What did the Chinese girl say when she had a white baby?

"Sum Ting Wong."

What's similar between a 14 year old pregnant girl and the fetus inside of her?

They're both thinking, "Oh shit, my mom's going to kill me!"

These are all really nice jokes, but here is one.

Boy: Spell ME.

Girl: M-E.

Boy: You forgot the D.

Girl: There is no D in ME.

Boy: Not yet.

I like my girls like I like my wine.

12 years old and locked in my basement.

Me to my friend: I only date suicidal girls.

My friend: Why?

Me: Because that pussy is limited edition.