Girls jokes
All Mia needs to destroy the evil young girl in Resident Evil 7 Biohazard, was using a pedophile instead of serum.
A man has been dating a girl forever. He finally says, "I love you." The girl says, "Aww, thanks." The man looks at her, "Are you not gonna say it back?" The girl says, "No, I can’t."
What is red, green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?
...A girl scout that got hit by a car.
What do you call an anorexic girl with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese.
What do you call ten lesbians in a room together? Fingerhut.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet together? A liquor cabinet.
What do you call a room full of 50 lesbians and fifty congressmen? 100 people who don't do dick.
Why don't women wear miniskirts in the winter? 'Cause they would get chapped lips.
What do a cliff jumper and a gay man have in common? If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit.
A 6-year-old told the class the first time she got AIDS. The teacher listened. She said she scraped her knee. The girl was sent to an asylum. When she got out, she was 20. She had AIDS.
Gay person to girl: What’s your favorite planet?
Girl: Penus-(penis)(venus), and what is yours?
Gay person: What else, it's Your Anus (Uranus)!😅
I asked an emo girl if she gets jealous when her phone dies.
I have some words that might make sense to girls, but maybe not to boys, ready?
smart
kind
sweet
caring
loving
mature
A programmer pushes a stroller through the park. An elderly couple comes along: "Is it a boy or a girl?" The programmer replies, "Yes."
A girl called me ugly.
So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.
Boys are like minis.
Girls are like big pots.
Minis always come first. Don't think about sex boys, be men.
I will tell you a story. There was a fruit named Pear who was named Dyck. He one day met his friend Carrot, who was later killed after being stuck into some girl's vagina.
Pear then became very sadistic and no one loved him, and he became mentally fruit-pressed. One day he met a Banana named Harvey Weinstein, and they got married and had children who were all named Minion. Eventually, the rest of his family died, and Pear was left slowly rotting away. His last words were, "I have finally 'peared' the consequences of all my actions."
Jarod (😏): Man, Breya Smith is so hot! The things I would do!
Y'uree (😟): Yes, but... she moved, remember? Her father found a new "job," so she is now leaving until the fall.
Jarod (😞): Ah yes! BECAUSE!!!!!
Y'uree (😯): I don't know, bitch. Maybe she has other things to do, or we can give her a good gangbang before she leaves!
Jarod: (😒): No, I really want to fuck her by myself!
Jarod (🤔): Hmmmmmmm..... mhmmmmmm..... ummmmm..... hmmmmm.... not a bad idea!
Jarod (🤨): Or not?
Y'uree (🙄): Shut up, man!
Jarod (😠): NO, I mean it! THAT GIRL HAS THE BEST ASS FOR ORAL SEX!
I went home to my girlfriend with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"
Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"
So there was this girl and her horse would not stop following her, so she said, "Stop horsing around!"
Get it? "Horse-ing."
What do you do when you see a naked dead girl?
Check your map, you're obviously going in circles.
Charizarding.
When you light a girl's pubes on fire, put it out with your jizz, then flap your arms and say, "You don't have enough badges to train me!"
What do girls have that boys don’t have? Bobbies.
How do you have sex? You take off your clothes and shove your dick in the girl's pussy. If girl suck his dick.
The little girl's dad was Jewish and her mom was Catholic. Mom had been taking the little girl to church every Sunday.
One Sunday, during High Mass, the little girl whispers to her mom, “Mom, can we go home now?”
“No honey, not yet,” replied the mother, “the Mass is only half over.”
“Then we can go now, Mom. I'm half Jewish.”