Girls jokes

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Penis

  • Why did the penis go fly?

    Because a girl sucked it too hard, it went flying away.

    Girl

  • Why did the little girl cry twice?

    Because you wiped your shitty bloody duck on her favorite teddy bear.

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    Cop

  • Me: Ok so let's get this straight....

    Cop: I'm not straight ok, now get in the car.

    Me: But I didn't do anything?

    Cop: No.

    Me: So why are you arresting me then?

    Cop: Imma tell you a story.

    Me: Oh no.......

    Cop: I know, now come on.

    Me: Ok where?

    Cop: My room.

    Me: Which room?

    Cop: My bedroom.

    Me: 😱I'm a girl.

    Cop: So am I, now get in.

    Me: But I'm 9.

    Cop: I'm 59.

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    Party Pooper

  • A girl invites her friends to come to her birthday party, and at the party, one of her friends poops their pants.

    When Sally finds out, she yells, “I never should have invited you to my party! You are a party pooper!”

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  • Hopscotch

  • A young, innocent little girl is playing hopscotch, and she says, "You step on a crack, you break your mama's back." Then she steps on a crack, so her mother's back proceeded to break slowly. Then she said, "You step on a line, you break your dada's spine," but the neighbor's spine broke, and in happiness, the thought-to-be previous father gets in his car and drives through the garage door...

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    School

  • In the French school, four sentences must be written. Fritz heard his mother say, "Close the door!"

    Fritz went to his uncle and heard, "Yes, I'll put it there."

    Then he came to his brother who said, "They call me Superman, hahaha!"

    Finally, his sister looked at a photo and said, "Wow!"

    The next day, the teacher said, "Okay, Fritz, it's your turn. Finish eating and take out the trash!" Fritz said, "Close the door!"

    The teacher got angry and said, "I want to see the principal." Fritz replied, "Yes, my friend, I am leaving you."

    The teacher asked, "I have forgotten your name, what is it?" Fritz said, "I'm Superman! I'm Superman! You're nothing!"

    "Who do you think I am?" asked the teacher, who had become very angry. Fritz replied, "Wow!"

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    Planet

  • Gay person to girl: What’s your favorite planet?

    Girl: Penus-(penis)(venus), and what is yours?

    Gay person: What else, it's Your Anus (Uranus)!😅

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  • Class

  • A 6-year-old told the class the first time she got AIDS. The teacher listened. She said she scraped her knee. The girl was sent to an asylum. When she got out, she was 20. She had AIDS.

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    Pastor

  • A 6-year-old girl decides to get baptized. She walks into the water of the river. Unfortunately, the pastor was drunk. The pastor put her in the water and dunked her under. The drunken man then forgot to bring her up from the water. The poor girl drowned and died...

    Later on, when the pastor was better and thrown in jail, all he had to say to the mortified family was, “Well, at least she’s in heaven!”

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  • Name

  • A girl asked her mom, "Why is my name Walmart?"

    Her dad replied and said, "Because that’s where you were made."

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    Phone Number

  • So, I went up to an Australian girl. She looked like she was 20, and I said, "Can I have your phone number, sweetheart?" She said, "696969." I said, "Oh, haha, okay." A few days later, her mother called me and said she's 15.

    Monster

  • A man came up to a girl about to jump off a cliff. The man said, "Why?" She then replies, "There are many monsters in this world, and I am one of them."