Girls jokes

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Baby

  • Do you know how babies are made? The boy puts his penis in the girl's butt and goes up and down for ten minutes. Then the girl takes a pregnancy test, and if it says no, then you keep doing it until she is pregnant.

    The boy will lick the girl down there, and she will put his penis in her mouth and suck it. Then he will spit on his hand and rub it on her boobs and lick/suck them.

    Number

  • I asked a Chinese girl her number, she said "Sex, sex, sex, free sex tonight." I said, "Wow!"

    Her friend corrected her by saying, "She means: 666-3629."

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    Insult

  • Girl: You are gay.

    Boy: Who says I’m gay?

    Girl: You ARE GAY!

    Boy: You are lesbian.

    Crowd: OhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhbhbhhhbhH

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    Muscle

  • Face-Timing My Girlfriend:

    "Hey girl! Are you a veterinarian? Because these puppies are sick!" *shows muscle*

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  • Truck

  • I'm pretty socially awkward when talking to girls, so I watched a video on how to keep conversations going.

    The guy said to try and find things that remind you of something else and talk about that. For example, "that oak tree over there reminds me of the one we used to climb in my backyard as a kid. It used to be so much fun... and so on."

    So next time I was having a conversation with a girl, I saw a red truck. So I said, "that red truck reminds me of the time my house burned down when I was 6." She said, "oh, and the fire trucks came to your house?" And I said, "no, I was getting molested in a red truck when my house burned down."

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    Hairline

  • This boy said, "Get your hairline straight." I said, "Girls don't have a hairline. How about you go to the barber shop and let your barber do your hair 10 times worse than he did the first time."

    Girl

  • A 14 year old girl was walking back home late at night, then a man was following her. An hour later, she got back home not only had she lost the stranger, but also her virginity.

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    Weed

  • Why can’t girls in the Middle East smoke weed?

    Because they’ll get stoned.

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    Girl

  • Flat girls be like, "I will have breasts in the future." This is to all the flat girls: you will never get it.

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    Tinder

  • I just figured out the "X" in Max stands for the button on Tinder every girl wants to press when they see him.