My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden. He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, " You have to dig a little."
Kenny can't find a girlfriend because neither of his sisters can fuck as good as his mom could.
1st graders: ay yo girl I think you’re beautiful let’s get married!! 2nd graders: uhh don’t tell my mom that we’re dating!! She won’t let me date! Let’s keep this a seeeeecret heeheehee. 3rd graders: uh my teacher told me to stay after school because I wrote a poem about you and I’m 9 years old, we have to break up sweetie. 4th graders: hey I think you’re cute!! Wanna date? I don’t think my girlfriend will mind....... 5th graders(they start wearing makeup): ay girl your eyelashes are pretty I like you now, wanna date? Here’s my numberrrrrr. 6th graders: heyyyyy I gotta tell you a secret I got a crush on you!! Don’t tell anyone!! Byeee, ooh I’ll text you later! 7th graders: we need to make Peyton jealous because she broke up with you!! Wanna date? I mean, you’re not hot, but still, great personalityyyyy alright bye now 8th graders: hi sweetheart I got STARRRBUCKKKSSS Me: UGLY AF AND LITERALLY NO BOYFRIEND.....
Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant I asked the waiter "People under 12 eat free right" the water confirmed that yes people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "but I'm 13.
I was making holy water and my girlfriend walked in saying what are you doing and I said making holy water and she said how are you making holy water I'm boiling the h#ll out of it
My girlfriend called me a bot in fortnite, so I called her sandwich maker 3000
What’s red, 11 inches and makes my girlfriend cry when i slap her with it?
Her miscarriage
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
120 pounds
Why did Zayn Malik get his girlfriend to convert to Islam? So she can declare giGIHADid
me: I have the body of a 28 year old her: prove it me: (opens freezer)
yeah she said do you love me, i said only partly i love my bed and my mommy im sorry.
my girlfriend has a huge crush on Jupiter, I mean she fell HARD!!!!
STOP POSTING ABOUT AMONG US! I'M TIRED OF SEEING IT! MY FRIENDS ON TIKTOK SEND ME MEMES, ON DISCORD IT'S FUCKING MEMES! I was in a server, right? and ALL OF THE CHANNELS were just among us stuff. I-I showed my champion underwear to my girlfriend and t-the logo I flipped it and I said "hey babe, when the underwear is sus HAHA DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DI DI DING" I fucking looked at a trashcan and said "THAT'S A BIT SUSSY" I looked at my penis I think of an astronauts helmet and I go "PENIS? MORE LIKE PENSUS" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHGESFG
Mickey Mouse went to a Psychologist and told him, “I’m having problems with my girlfriend.” The Psychologist said, “You mentioned that you think she is crazy.” He said, “I didn’t say she was crazy, I said she’s fucking Goofy!”
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus I lost my job as a bus driver.
my girlfriend was cheating in Uno
she's not the only one who can play that game
Guy walks to his friends house his friend says “where is your girlfriend” guy says meet me at the cemetery in a week
I keep looking for my girlfriends killer but no one wants to do it.
my girlfriend dumped me today apparently I don't stand up for her in fights I don't care she use to push me around all the time
One day I got home and told my girlfriend "I cheated on you." she replied with "F**k you" I then said "But you won't, that's why I cheated on you."
