Girl jokes
Girl: Dad, where are you?
Dad: I went to go get milk.
Girl: But we have milk.
Dad: I know, I just don't love you.
Do you know why boys can't ask girls out? Because they don't have any balls to ask girls out!
Any girls on here?
Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.
I went to a girl and I said, "DEEZ NUTS!"
As a son, I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him and she doesn’t want to be with him anymore, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny.
Then I told my friend’s girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out and wanted to confront me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happened. Then my mom said the same thing happened to me. I came home one day, I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job. I asked what’s going on. My friend told me, "Your mom is my new girlfriend," and my mom said, "This is the penis of my dreams."
This dad went out hunting, he killed a deer. He came home and he and his wife decided to have it for dinner but not tell their kids. Instead, they made them guess. The dad said, "It's something that daddy calls mommy." The little girl yells to her brother, "Don't eat it! It's an ass!"
"INNOCENT! THERE IS NO WAY TO PROVE THAT THE GIRL WAS 13. It doesn't matter what texts he sent. There is no way to prove that the girl was 13, or the fact that it was a girl. Failed sting operation."
Never break a girl's/boy's/someone's heart. They only have one of them.
Break their bones instead. They have 206 of them.
Why do girls scratch their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have another pair of balls.
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.
Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”
“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”
What has only one sense of style?
An emo girl.
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months, she woke up. She asked the doctor, "How's the baby?"
"You had twins," the doctor replied. "Your brother named them."
The woman said, "Oh no, not my brother! What did he call them?"
The doctor said, "He called the girl Denise."
"What about the boy?" the woman asked.
The doctor said, "Denephew."
I met an amazing girl online. Smart, sexy... uninhibited.
Of course it turned out to be a 12 year old paraplegic boy... I have to admit... The sex was disappointing.
A man sees a girl crying and asks her what's wrong.
The girl replied, "Everyone keeps making fun of me."
"You should tell your parents," I replied back.
The girl started crying even more. That's when I got confused and left the orphanage.
If a girl says no twice 🤔.
Mathematically that’s a yes, so you’re good to go!
Why did the teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?
Because they can't get even.
I need to fuck an emo girl... those bitches are limited edition!
Girl: Wanna come over to my house?
Orphan: I have to ask if my parents come home.
Why can't a Leicester fan pull girls? He can only do the fox trot.