A hot girl wants to commit suicide and jump from a bridge when an ugly, smelly, homeless weirdo walks up to her. And he says, "Hey you hot babe, let's fuck." She just answers, "Get the fuck away you ugly bastard." The guy just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
A girl and a dog were dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog.
This is to the girl/boy named Gwen: Are you okay? I see there is a bunch of haters but DON'T, I repeat, DON'T let the haters get to you. I hope you see this and respond and that you are okay. Please Gwen, be honest.
Max likes his girls like he likes his wine. 7 years old and locked in his basement.
How do you get a fat girl to bed? Piece of cake.
Before Marriage Boy: At last, I can hardly wait! Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No, don't even think about it! Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course, always! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: No, why are you asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you slap me? Boy: Hell nah, you crazy!! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yeah girl! Girl: Oh Honeyyy😍
After Marriage Now, read that from the bottom to the top.
A girl asked me to eat her out one time... so I put her in the oven.
I went on a walk with a super pretty girl, then she saw me and it turned into a run.
I saw a beautiful homeless girl and asked if I could take her out on a date. She politely accepted and enjoyed herself. Soon after, I asked if I could take her home, she smiled and nodded her head. Her smile disappeared when she saw me running away with her cardboard box.
I used to date a girl named Ruth, but she broke up with me and now I am ruthless.
My girl is so cute when she sleeps. I watch her all the time... Tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time.
Me: (pointing up in the air) "Everybody listen up, this is a robbery!"
Girl: "Dude, this is a library."
Me: "Oh." (screwing on a silencer)
If you tell a girl they're pretty, they won't believe you. If you tell them they're ugly, they'll never forget it.
Elephants never forget.
These are all really nice jokes, but here is one.
Boy: Spell ME.
Girl: M-E.
Boy: You forgot the D.
Girl: There is no D in ME.
Boy: Not yet.
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you're super annoying and won't shut up.
An emo girl walks up to a tree to give it a high five... the tree left her hanging.
When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying, I asked her where her parents were. She cried louder. That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage.
What does a perverted frog say? Rub it.
Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom.
What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.
What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender.
You want to hear a dirty joke?
This guy and this girl were having sex when the guy's boss called to ask why he wasn't at work. The guy responds, "I'm sick." His boss replies, "You don't sound sick." The guy says, "I'm fucking my sister" and hangs up the phone.
A girl and her brother are walking in their garden. POV: Brother. Sister: "Why are you cutting those flowers?"
Brother: "Because they're beautiful!"
Sister: "I thought you said you cut yourself because you aren't."
Brother:......
