My girl friend is like toys r us. She does no exist .

guy: Say “I’m a man” every time I stop. person: guy: you walk into a bar. person: I’m a man guy:you meet a girl person: I’m a man guy:you and the girl go to a hotel
person: I’m a man guy:you guys go on a bed person: I’m a man. guy:she whispers into your ear person:I’m a man

what is red, green, lies in a ditch and is covered in cookie crumbs?

…a girl scout that got hit by a car

All school meetings introductions:

Grade School; “Welcome Girls and Boys!”

Middle School; “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome!”

High School; “Fingerers and fingerees,”

I saw a man trying to rape a girl,i decided to help, she didn’t stand a chance against both of us

There’s is this cute russian girl in my class, yet she hasn’t asked me out for vodka

Guy walks into a bar. Sees a hot girl. Walks up to her and says “your getting laid tonight” She replies “what are you some sort of psychic” He says “No i’m just stronger than you”.

Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped

My friends and I were talking about this really ugly girl at our school. For some reason, she had the same name as me.

What do you call girl skeleton dancing… A bone et

Yo girl…do you like squirrels, because i’m about to nut in your hole

What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs? Names.

Why did God create gay men? So fat girls could dance

How can you tell if google is a girl? It makes suggestions before you finish your sentence

Hey girl are you osteoporosis, because your giving me a “Bone” condition

Say I’m a man after every sentence You walk into a bar. (I’m a man) You find a girl . ( I’m a man) You take her home.(I’m a man) She whispers in your ear.(I’m a man)

You’d think my son would be happy that Daddy bought him a new bike. But no… oh no he just sits in his wheelchair and cries like a little girl.

When I was born the doctors said , “it’s a boy!” Then when they went to cut the embilical cord, they cut the wrong thing. Then they said , “OH, It’s a girl.”

I got my little girl a hand sewing kit for her birthday and she cried. I didn’t understand why until I realized that she had no hands to sew with.

The Cheerio Joke

Let’s say you’re in high school, and your popularity level was badlsed on what Cheerio you are. So there’s Extra-Frosty cheerios as the most popular kids, the frosted cheerios were the popular kids, the Regular Cheerios as the typical normal kid, then there’s the honey nut Cheerios as the nerds and geeks, and then there’s your cheerio which is the Chocolate cheerios. Now you want to ask this girl who’s an extra frosty, you go up to her and ask her to Homecoming, but she declines. So after school gets out, you go home and rewind. The next day you wake up feeling like a honey nut cheerio, so you go up to her again and ask her again, she still says no. So you go home and rewind again and wake up the next morning feeling like a Regular cheerio. So you go to school and ask her again, she still declines. So you go home and rewind again. The next morning, you wake up feeling like a frosty cheerio. So you go up to her and ask again, still says no. Then you go home and unwind. The next day you wake up feeling like an extra frosty cheerio. Feeling doubtful, you go up to her one last time and ask her. She finally says yes. The next day is Homecoming, and you and your date are on the dance floor, and she wants punch. So she tells you that she’s going to go get punch. She goes and gets punch and is back in 30 seconds. You ask her why it was so fast. She replies with; “Oh there want a punch line.”

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