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Q: What's the difference between rape and marriage? A: With marriage, you get to keep the screaming woman afterwards.

Why did the rapper cross the road?

To get to the STUDIO on the other side

Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk

Why do some couples make their status "single" after a small argument? Like, I don't put "orphan" after I get into an argument with my family.

What's a perfect example of poor management? A prostitute getting pregnant.

Want to know why parents don't get school shooting jokes? Because they are aimed at a younger audience.

What does a politician and a minister have in common? both of them will tell you anything to get money from you

Why do orphans like getting kidnapped? Because someone actually wants them. 🤣

I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.

I go into get a prostate exam, I'm nervous but the doctor says its all natural and needs to be done.

So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside , feeling for abnormalities.

That's when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.

how do you get your grass to cut itself. make it depressed

A boy walks up to a girl and says " i would tell you a joke about my dick but it's too long" then the girl say's " yeah, i would tell you a joke about my pussy but you'll never get it."

What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person

You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message

Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.

Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.

Son: Dad? Why is mommy no longer with us? Dad: Why did the chicken cross the road? Son:why? Dad: To get to the other side but your mother only made it about halfway