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What time is it when you get home, can walk walk home and walk walk home from school?
Once Roblox popped up in my server, be like, "Roblox, what are you doing?"
Me: "What the heck?" Me: "How did I get in your server?"
Roblox: "You've been banned for just cheating!"
What did one orphan say to another orphan?
"Get in the batmobile, Robin!"
So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.
About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."
What's the difference between orphans and apples? Apples get picked.
Why is it that every time I masturbate, things get out of hand?
Why did the terrorist not get paid, but they loved their job?
They di2s drying plans.
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
What is an orphan versus orphan competition?
Who will get adopted first?
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
Roses are red, That's a tin can, You have no home, So get in the van!
What do you call the middle of a penny?
A center (get it? Cent-er).
Why did the impostor vent... to get to the other side?
Mr. Smith: Neona, tell us what you have for the biggest competition that we can do to keep our competitors out of the winning streak?
Neona: Will thought we used more sales and more advertising.
Mr. Smith: It's already a good idea. Now what about the business plan? We need it as recommendations to keep the business going. Tell me, what do you have in mind?
Neona: It is better to always have a plan. I was thinking that we can get higher prices and always get great deals. The people will go nuts for a great deal!
Mr. Smith: Perfect. Now let's take a 5 minute break.
Mr. Smith: Ok, 5 minutes is up! Now Neona, I know you are an intern, but what are the best things we can do for the company?
Neona: Hmm...let's see...will we can start with all the things people love! If this is going to work then we have have to......
Vaginas are like onions. They have lots of layers to get through.
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: "You're doing standup tonight, right?" Noob Joker (you): "Yes, I am!" Owner: "Get onto the stage." Me: *walks up stage* Owner: "This is the standup comedian noobpro." Me: "Hey guys, how about some Donald Trump?" Crowd: *RUNS*
What did the orphan say to the other?
"Robin, get the Batmobile!"
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples actually get picked.
Why did the orphan get arrested for identity theft?
He dressed up as Batman for Halloween.
POV: Get a banana cleaner and use it as a sex toy.