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Why did the feminist get banned? For spreading conspiracy theories about the (non-existent) gender wage gap.
You ever get the feeling when your parents are cheating on you? I do.
Why did the kid cry?
His dad didn't get the milk.
Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?
They get to walk themselves down the aisle.
A police pulls over a Mexican man trying to get into America. The Mexican man comes up with some sob story and the police say, "All right, all right ok," says the police, "I'll let you go if you can come up with a sentence that has the words green, pink, and yellow in it." The Mexican thought about it long and hard for almost 45 minutes and then the police says, "Ok ok let's hear it" after waiting impatiently. The Mexican said, "Ok ok don't rush me. I'm ready." The Mexican replied, "Ok when my phone green green, I pink it up and say Yellow!"
Once I was in South Korea doing stand up comedy... and I started with a "hidden" joke and I said: "I'm so happy to be here in one of the most beautiful Korea's in the world..." which is a good joke but they didn't get it, and they looked at me badly... so I said "I'm here in the South which is more beautiful... South good, North booooooo." But still nothing, they kept glaring at me... then I realized that maybe I was in the wrong Korea.
Kid: I want to be Batman.
Okay, when he gets home, his parents are dead.
Yo mama so fat, that when she gets in a monster truck, it becomes a low-rider!
A child asks his father, "How do you get pink eye?"
Son, I was told it’s from scratching your butt, then rubbing your eyes.
Then the son asks, "How did I get Fungi?" As the father was about to answer, the boy says, "Ohh, so is it from scratching my stinky feet, then rubbing my eye?" ———-Fungeye
Orphans can get away with anything really bad at school, because they can't be sent home for it.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side! Haha, so funny...
How do fish get high?
Because they eat seaweed.
How did Sally get a free trip to Hawaii? She washed up on shore.
One day, a father was showering, and his daughter ran into the bathroom while he was getting out and drying off.
The daughter curiously pointed to her father's penis and asked, "Daddy, when am I going to get one of those!?"
The father replied quickly, "In about 15 minutes, when your mother leaves for work."
What do you get when you cross a shark and a snowman? Frostbite!
A guy goes in to get some tests done. The doctor comes out and says, "I got good news and bad news." The guy says, "Ok, let's get the bad news out of the way." The doctor says, "The tests came back positive. You got two weeks to live." The guy says, "Oh My God!! Then what the hell is the good news?" Doctor says "You see that nurse over there, the one with the big tits? I'm screwin' her."
Every second, 1 kid gets diagnosed with homework.
You heard of Spider-Man: No Way Home. Now get ready for:
Orphan: No Way Home.
Trump can get banned. The cops can tack him to jail, and Trump go go go go bye bye for good. Trump is meing.
It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.