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Bullet

John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."

Teacher

Uh, six teachers are annoying. Thank God I am not getting picked on at school or on this website.

Stuff

The Good Old Days.

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

Plane

A guy was in one of the Twin Towers and he ordered pepperoni pizza, but he didn't get it. He got a plane instead.

Memes

Baby

What is worse than a baby getting hanged in a tree?

That same baby getting hanged in multiple trees.

Bounty

So, I heard Bounty, the maker of paper towels, has decided to get into the Male Enhancement business...

...their new slogan?

The Quicker Pecker Upper.

Jimmy

What do you get when you have 10 chicken nuggets and little Jimmy tries to take one?

10 chicken nuggets and a dead little Jimmy.

Hill

What is Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill? Walking, JK Rowling.

Beat

What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?

They know how to get a beat down.

Orphan

Guys, we need to stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents might get upset. Oh, wait... never mind.

Orphan

Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.

Wife

My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer.

I’m not too worried—I think she’s jokingdkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf.

Orphanage

Dad: We are giving your toys to the orphanage.

Kid: Why?

Dad: So you won't get bored.

School Shooter

When the school shooter says, "Everybody get down!" and the autistic kid thinks it's Simon Says: 🙋‍♂️🙋‍♂️🙋‍♂️

Orphan

What’s the difference between an orphan and a tomato?

The tomato gets picked.

Catholic priest

What do you get when you cross a bisexual male that is a catholic priest and a christian police officer that is a bisexual male and a born again homophobic heteroflexable male that is a christian nationalist who is in the closet a gay man that needs to be force out of the closet by any means necessary?

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