Get jokes
My dad went to get milk from Tesco’s.
He never came back.
What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
Predator 2.
What did the one orphan say to the other orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."
What did the fork say to the cake when he said, "I hope you get eaten?"
Fork off!
Ah, you wanna read a cheeseburger joke for your friends to hear.
Nah, bro, you're just going to get cheese on your burger.
My wheelchair-bound friend was getting bullied, so I told him to stand up for himself.
"I love you, you too. I-eeeeeee was the night. Time is it when you you get a typical sleep night. Is oooooooo, is it a walk home was the night night and a tree is it?"
Your momma is so fat, when she gets done having sex she rolls over and smokes a ham.
What kind of rape victim has a shower ten times a day?
The type that gets raped a lot.
We should stop the orphan jokes. The parents will get mad.
Q: What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
A: One of them gets picked.
My friend and I were at the mall and decided to try on some necklaces. He said, "I think you should get the one over there." I do. I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it. I asked him, "Did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?"
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why did the Headless Horseman get a job?
He was trying to get ahead in life.
What do you call an Asian who gets a B?
It's not a B-sian.
Dead.
Why don't booties get invited to parties?
They tend to CRACK people up!
Scratches on an icy road and kills 50 people on the bus, and when they get to Heaven, God feels so bad for them and grants them all one wish.
The first lady in the line was always worried about her looks, so she wished to be beautiful, and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to wish about, so he also wished to be beautiful. This kept on going, but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh. When he got to God, God says, “What is your one wish, my son?” He said, “I wish you can make them all ugly again.”
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm getting over it.
Why did the rapper get kicked out of the grocery store?
He kept dropping the BEETS!
Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"
The terrorists both say, "A beer."
The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"
One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"