Get jokes
What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?
A trip without kids.
The cemetery is so crowded, people are just dying to get in.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing, and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dad's pants. Little Johnny says, "That explains what the lady next door was doing."
What did the blind kid get for his birthday?
I don't know, he still didn't look.
Our Deaf Friend
What does Michael Jackson get high on? A little crack.
Why does an orphan always get out in baseball?
Because he can't run home.
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"
I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?... one gets picked.
My homework was to watch as much porn as I can... and tell my teacher the details so he won't get in trouble for watching it during class.
What is Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill? Walking, JK Rowling.
Why doesn't Kermit the frog get married?
He doesn't like commitment.
What do you get when you cross Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
Predator 2.
You are getting Cole for Christmas, you shit fuckers.
The Good Old Days.
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
Dad: We are giving your toys to the orphanage.
Kid: Why?
Dad: So you won't get bored.
A guy was in one of the Twin Towers and he ordered pepperoni pizza, but he didn't get it. He got a plane instead.
Uh, six teachers are annoying. Thank God I am not getting picked on at school or on this website.
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was out-standing.