Get jokes

Sometimes I get jealous when I see a gravestone.

Why are Indians so good at football?

Each time they get a corner, they open a shop.

What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?

Smash.

(Get it?) 9/11.

I bet emos get jealous when their phone dies.

What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?

Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.

My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.

I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger, then it hit me :3

How did Aby get away from Mr. Ryan in Iran? He ran!

I couldn’t understand why the baseball was getting bigger and bigger.

Then it hit me.

How much work does a skeleton get done?

A SKELE-TON!

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...

What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))

Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!

What's the quickest way to get money besides winning the lottery?

Leaving your son with Michael Jackson.

How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.

What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.

What's the difference between an orphan and a vegetable?

The vegetable gets picked.

What's the fastest way to get to the hospital? Stand in the middle of the road.

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest, telling her we can get married once she makes her way out.

Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?

Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.

Boobs are like batteries...

AA will get the job done...

C is bigger than AA...

D is bigger that C...

...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!