Get jokes

What do you call a disabled person who gets high?

Baked potato.

My cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and I asked him why and I said, "Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, I get made fun of." and I said, "Why? Cuz you get buttfucked?" and he said, "No, turd." Then I said, "Wow, at least I'm not the one with real pains in my ass, bro."

How much work does a skeleton get done?

A SKELE-TON!

Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!

The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.

Q: Why did the pervert cross the road?

A: Couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.

What did the momma grape say to the pappa grape?

"Raisin' our kids is usually pretty fun, but sometimes they get sunburn and I have to take them to the doctor for dry skin."

Why do bugs hate the internet?

Because they always get caught.

Get it? Inter-net?

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.

What do you get when I get mixed with coffee?

De-presso.

How did Aby get away from Mr. Ryan in Iran? He ran!

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...

What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))

Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. We'd like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.

I asked the gym trainer what type of machine I should use to get the best looking women.

He said the ATM outside.

I was kicked out of an orphanage kitchen because I yelled, "Hurry up, some of us have homes to get back to."

My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest, telling her we can get married once she makes her way out.

What's the fastest way to get to the hospital? Stand in the middle of the road.

What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.

A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.

His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"

The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."

An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."