Get jokes
What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?
Smash.
(Get it?) 9/11.
Q: Why do clowns always get into fights?
A: Because they have the balls to.
I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.
Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?
What is the similarity between orphans and apples?
They both get thrown out.
What's the quickest way to get money besides winning the lottery?
Leaving your son with Michael Jackson.
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
Me: Good night, everyone.
My friends and family: Night.
Me: *gets in coffin*
My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?
My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.
What’s the best way to get people to remember your birthday? Kill yourself.
Dark humor is like food, some just don't get it.
Your mom said, "Can you get to the dick game?"
Finally, some social platform where you can talk about Muslims and not get bombed.
Obv, unless you share your residence.
Get a calculator.
Okay, anyways, Sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs) and her friend said it was 222 many. She got caught by the police and was taken to 51st Street. She got arrested for x8 days, so she was BOOBLESS.
Q: What do blind kids and orphans have in common?
A: Neither of them get to see their parents.
So, a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex.
When he gets to the bar, he brags about the different sex positions they used, and one of the guys says, "Oh, did you do head?"
He responded with, "No, I couldn't find the head."
Why did the orphan get kicked off the baseball team?
He would never make it home base.
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?
A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)
I bet emos get jealous when their phone dies.
What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?
Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.
How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.