Get jokes

How do you make a dishwasher work again?

Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apples get picked. Orphans don't.

What's an upside of being an orphan?

You'll never get grounded again.

How do you get a slag from Dundee pregnant?

Spunk in the gutter and let the flies do the work...

Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?

A. Crayons.

Why are Black people getting stronger?

Because the TVs are getting bigger.

What’s the difference between your sister and a bowling ball?

I can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!

Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. We'd like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.

How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?

Put barbecue sauce on it.

I asked the gym trainer what type of machine I should use to get the best looking women.

He said the ATM outside.

I was kicked out of an orphanage kitchen because I yelled, "Hurry up, some of us have homes to get back to."

What do you get when you cross a Jewish person?

Christianity.

What's the fastest way to get to the hospital? Stand in the middle of the road.

What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.

What is the difference between apples and orphans? Apples get picked!

Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.

What's the difference between YouTube adverts and orphans?

Most get skipped no matter how interesting they are.

We should really stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad.

I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.

A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"

How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.