Get jokes
A programmer and his wife.
She says, "We're out of bread. Please go to the grocery store and buy one. And if they've got eggs, get six."
After a while, he's back with six loaves of bread.
The wife asks, "Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?"
He replies, "They had eggs."
How do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? A blender.
How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.
Why did Sally get to go to Hawaii for free? She washed up on the beach.
What do pedophiles and Xboxes have in common?
They both get turned on by kids.
Why did the chicken commit suicide?
To get to the other side.
Why did Yoda go to jail for rape?
He doesn't get consent; he just uses the force.
What did the mentally retarded kid get on his test?
Drool.
Why can orphans travel around so much? They never get homesick.
What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.
I made a website for orphans, but sadly it didn't have a home page.
Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real.
Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk.
I hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though I think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldn't wanna hurt your funny bone, but I think your starting to get BONELY so I'll stop pulling your leg. Now get out before I give you a bad time.
What's the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop?
Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly.
Why do orphans like getting kidnapped? Because someone actually wants them. 🤣
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Well, at least one gets picked.
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it and says, "Hey dad! Whatcha doin'?"
His father says, "I'm filling your mom's tank."
Johnny says, "Oh yeah, well, you better get a model that gets better mileage because the milk man filled her up this morning."
In Soviet Russia, gay sex gets you arrested.
In America, getting arrested gets you gay sex.
I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus, and all I could think to myself was, "Don't get an erection, don't get an erection..." But she did.
What makes suicide illegal? Getting caught.
A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it's too long." Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you'll never get it."
I go in to get a prostate exam. I'm nervous, but the doctor says it's all natural and needs to be done.
So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside, feeling for abnormalities.
That's when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.