Get jokes

Gwen, do you have to be so happy all the time? Even you don't get the joke!

But he could only get 1 trade.

Why did the duck cross the road to get to his quack dealer?

What is an orphan and an apple?

They get picked.

Teacher: Here, have candy.

Kid: No, I’m too fat.

Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.

*Next week*

Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.

Kid: I’m too fat to get up.

Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?

Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.

Ok, ok, who is trying to be my "long lost brother"? Because last time I checked, I didn't have any sisters or brothers, so stop trying to steal my fame from me and give up. A lot of other people already know you are fake, so get off this website OR JUST STOP!!!

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

An apple actually gets picked.

A farmer had a donkey and a dog. One night, he was getting robbed by a thief. The donkey told the dog to bark, but the dog refused. So the donkey brayed very loudly, and the thief ran out of the house, and the farmer beat up the donkey.

Son: Dad, what are those two huge balloons on mommy's chest?

Dad: I don't see balloons, but I see boobs. I mean, yes, balloons.

Son: Are you sure they're balloons? Yesterday I heard Uncle Frank trying to get a milk dispenser working.

There's at least 856 pages of these newest puns. I couldn't finish, because it took me an hour just to get that far. Just saying, that's a lot of jokes!

Why are orphans different from apples?

Apples get picked.

"Hipity hopity, get the f*ck off my property!"

"Go get me the lamb sauce!"

Why did I have to pay $300 on Uber?

I had to get from your forehead to your big ass nose.

Hello, I am typing with the microphone, euros, hello bro and 0LXDXD bra, that’s funny, and also you are gay. Ha ha ha ha ha, get it done by eight.

What does a terrorist get for Christmas?

A C4.

Why did the whale cross the ocean?

To get to the other tide!!! 😂

What does a nosy pepper do?

Gets jalapeño business.

If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?

Worms and rotten fruit.

Does anyone know where I can get that picture that went around the internet of Steven Hawking looking at the stairway to Heaven and saying “Oh Fu-k”?