Get jokes
Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?
Teacher: 203
Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?
Teacher: You can't.
Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?
Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.
The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?
Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.
Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.
Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?
Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?
Student: No, the alligators are at the party.
Sally dies anyway, how?
Teacher: She frowned?
Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
Why did the feminist get banned? For spreading conspiracy theories about the (non-existent) gender wage gap.
What do Rihanna and a DJ have in common?
They know how to get a beat down.
Why do men midgets laugh when they run?
Because their balls get tickled by the grass.
What's the difference between an orphan and a baby?
The orphan gets back up.
Ohio getting out of hand
Why did the bee get into trouble?
Because he wasn't beehiving very well!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple's actually get picked.
My Mom said, "I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied."
Well, I said, "Have you seen her?"
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
An Asian man walks into a bar in Australia. The bartender says to him “why are you here? Get back in that wing wong country.”
The Asian man says “I’m here traveling and now I’m gonna attack you with my 40 gallons of fried rice I’ve had in my pocket since wa dinowar wages. #wingwong”
A retard won a break-dancing competition. All he did was go to get a drink.
Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.
What's a reversed exorcism?
It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body.
The FitnessGramTM Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20-meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.
Level 1 Feel it One Two Three Four Five Six Seven; end of level one.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Why did the duck get arrested? Because he was selling quack.
Why did the gay man get raped?
He assed for it.
To RANDYYYY,
Hi Randy, this is ALYA. I don't want to fight with you. If you're an orphan and you do know about your past, you probably get sad, right? Well, these jokes just bring up the bad times for me.
-ALYA with love
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"