Get jokes

What is an orphan and an apple?

They get picked.

A farmer had a donkey and a dog. One night, he was getting robbed by a thief. The donkey told the dog to bark, but the dog refused. So the donkey brayed very loudly, and the thief ran out of the house, and the farmer beat up the donkey.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

An apple actually gets picked.

Teacher: Here, have candy.

Kid: No, I’m too fat.

Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.

*Next week*

Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.

Kid: I’m too fat to get up.

Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?

Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.

Ok, ok, who is trying to be my "long lost brother"? Because last time I checked, I didn't have any sisters or brothers, so stop trying to steal my fame from me and give up. A lot of other people already know you are fake, so get off this website OR JUST STOP!!!

A girl and dog get dropped off at an orphanage. Why was she crying before she went in? Because the people came back for their dog!

But he could only get 1 trade.

Son: Dad, what are those two huge balloons on mommy's chest?

Dad: I don't see balloons, but I see boobs. I mean, yes, balloons.

Son: Are you sure they're balloons? Yesterday I heard Uncle Frank trying to get a milk dispenser working.

Why did the duck cross the road to get to his quack dealer?

Why are orphans different from apples?

Apples get picked.

"Hipity hopity, get the f*ck off my property!"

There's at least 856 pages of these newest puns. I couldn't finish, because it took me an hour just to get that far. Just saying, that's a lot of jokes!

Does anyone ever get tired of being random? Me neither.

If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?

Worms and rotten fruit.

"Go get me the lamb sauce!"

Why did I have to pay $300 on Uber?

I had to get from your forehead to your big ass nose.

Hello, I am typing with the microphone, euros, hello bro and 0LXDXD bra, that’s funny, and also you are gay. Ha ha ha ha ha, get it done by eight.

How do you get ten babies in a bowl?

A blender.

How do you get them out?

Doritos.

What song is sung when conceiving?

"Let's Get Physical, Physical!"

If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?