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Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get his DENTAL FLOW checked.
What time is it when you get a chance to take a car and drive all over?
Time to get in trouble!
What do you call getting gonorrhea from a disabled person?
A slow clap.
Three nuns die in a car crash, but they all make it to heaven. They're standing at the pearly gates, and Saint Peter says to them, "Don't worry, you're going to get in, but first I need you to answer these questions."
He asks the first nun, "What was the name of the first woman?" The nun says, "Eve." Saint Peter says, "Go on in."
Then he asks the second nun, "Where did Adam and Eve live?" The second one says, "The Garden of Eden." Saint Peter says, "You can go through."
Finally, he gets to the third nun and says, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" The nun stands there a little confused and says, "Boy, that's a hard one." Saint Peter, shocked, goes, "That's correct! Go on in."
Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.
A lady walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs. The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea." The lady replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."
What's common in vampires and American kids?
They both don't get old.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get to the house. They turned the lights out. Jill shouts, "It's a dildo, WTF?"
Hi, this is Chloe, and I am about to tell you about my joke.
Why did the cow cross the road? Because to get to the other side.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
So, one day I have a wife, but if it's getting a longer day, she is moving so weird, and I see she has sex with Rick Astley. 😂 [rickrolled]
Why did the skunk cross the road?
To get to the odor side!
Why do orphans like fucking other dads?
Because they get to have a daddy.
My girlfriend told me her lips were dry, and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk.
What is an orphan's least favorite holiday?
Christmas, they wish they'd get parents.
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal; its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to Hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
What does Michael Jackson say when it gets hot?
He-he-eat!
If you put your foot in a pond, your foot will get wet.
No joke, I just wasted about 5 or 6 seconds of your life.
There's a girl I like in my school, but she's always on her phone. It seems that I can't get a SIGNAL from her.
We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:
1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.
2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.
3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).