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Q. What does Kenny get when he hugs his mom?
A. A boner.
What do you get from pampered cows?
Spoiled milk.
A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."
Why did the orphan get kicked out of baseball?
They couldn't hit home base.
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
When people say they get ho's: You don't get no ho's, the only ho's you get is in yo draws.
Why did the royal wedding get more publicity than a school shooting?
Cause a royal wedding doesn't happen once a week.
"Stupid faker, if you're trying to get me to leave the site, it won't work!"
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree? You cut the rope...
If you see a woman get raped, just walk away. Don't bother helping. They're independent women, after all.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?
Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.
Why did the chicken crack the safe?
To get to her nest egg.
What do you do when you get a boy named Jackson? You dump him.
Teacher: Ok class good morning, we are going to start off by what kind of sound animals make.
Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?
Class: A cow says mo mo.
Teacher: Good.
Teacher: What does a sheep make?
Class: A sheep says maa maaa.
Teacher: Good! Now what does a pig say?
Little Johnny: A pig says "Put your hands up and get agenst the wall you black mother fucke*."
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apes get picked.
What is the difference between women and cars?
At least one of them retained their value after getting wrecked.
How to protect your nuts from being hit: Just get hard.
What do trannies and jokes about them have in common?
Neither of them get old.
How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike?
You can't get either one at home.