Get jokes

What time is it when you get home and you can't walk home?

What is a good night's sleep and what do I have for you?

Walk home from home and walk walk home and get a good night and night sleep good day today and walk home and walk walk home and take care and walk walk home 🏠 was good fun night night I had dinner 🍽 night night love 💗

What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?

Gloves!

JK, he hasn't opened it yet.

Yo mama so fat, that when she gets in a monster truck, it becomes a low-rider!

Why did the mermaid want to go to the evil monster so it could get a real joke? Ha, ah, ah, ha!

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?

Time to get a new fence!

I need to go to the hospital because I'm getting shot by a PUN.

A man gets arrested after writing "MORBID JOKES COMING OUT THIS TIME NEXT YEAR!" and "I'm gay!"

What do butts say?

"Help me, I'm getting wiped clean!"

China servers are up on Fortnite, yeah, check by there.

"China getting this dick in your mouth 😂"

When Sara gets naked in the shower, she turns her taps on :)

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

He tried to get the free cracked version of Windows 10.

Flat girls be like, "I will have breasts in the future." This is to all the flat girls: you will never get it.

What can orphans not get when playing a sport?

A home run!

What do you say when your pet pig gets lost?

This is a pig problem!

Why is an orphan's least favorite day field trip day?

Because they can't get a parent's signature.

Why do orphans like playing tennis so much?

Because it’s the only way they’ll ever get love.

What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?

Jay-Z and B.

A fish was swimming around in a pond when he noticed a fly flying around about six inches above the water. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, I could have myself a nice meal."

There was a bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, that fish will come up for that fly, and I can catch that fish and have myself a nice meal."

There was a hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will go for the fish, and I can shoot the bear and have myself a nice meal."

There was a mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich and I can have myself a nice meal."

There was a cat in a tree watching the mouse watching the hunter watching the bear watching the fish watching the fly. He thought, "if that fly drops six inches, the fish will get the fly, the bear will get the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, drop his sandwich, the mouse will go for the sandwich, and I can catch that mouse and have myself a nice meal."

Then it all happened.

The fly dropped six inches.

The fish came up and caught the fly.

The bear came out and caught the fish.

The hunter got up to shoot the bear and dropped his sandwich.

The mouse went for the sandwich.

The cat jumped from the tree, missed, and landed in the pond.

The lesson that can be learned here is that every time a fly drops six inches, a pussy gets wet.

Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?

Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.

Student: Ok!!

Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?

Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.

Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.

Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.