Get jokes
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple tray?
The apples get picked.
I really want to beat the living daylights out of you, but it's not worth getting the wooden spoon for garbage.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake? Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!
What is it that a 🤔 😳 👀 😕 physicality handicapped ♿ male prostitute can do on his own very well without getting any help from his male friends that are gay like himself?
Perform fellatio on a 👨 👨 👬 gay man.
Bro sat down too close for comfort. I told him to move or he would get hurt.
Come on, how hard could it possibly be To move a few inches? You’re touching my D.
A guy really needs his personal space. Disobey and I’ll shove it in your face.
My roasts aren't funny. At least this shit gets me money.
How can you get 3 homos to sit on one barstool?
Turn it upside down.
Why can't I get a girlfriend?
Because I'm a beta male simp.
Sorry, what’s the quickest way to get to the hospital? Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
My 14 year old daughter went shopping at a grocery story.
She gets to the register and she asked the cashier to scan her scarred wrist.
The cashier scanned it and replied with, "Ma'am this item is worthless."
They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket.
They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.
If you're pan, all you have to do is get a sibling and make them get your parents to the outside of the pantry, and you burst out and then say you're pansexual!
It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)
A guy asks a girl to go to a dance. She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally he gets his suit.
He decides to buy flowers, so he goes to the flower shop. The flower shop has a long line, so he waits and waits, until he finally buys flowers.
He picks up the girl and they go to the dance. There is a long line into the dance, so they wait and wait.
Finally, they get into the dance, and the guy offers to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch, so he goes to the drink table, and there is no punch line.
You know why I only date disabled people? Cause they can't get away.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the chicken coop?
How do you get an emo down from a tree?
Cut the rope!