Get jokes

What does a necrophiliac get at a wedding?

Mourning wood.

What did one orphan say to the other? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

Q: Why did the chef get fired?

A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!

Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee. His dad sees this and says, "I saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks." Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like honey anyway." About fifteen minutes later, Little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says, "I saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like butter anyway." Both Little Johnny and his dad go in for dinner. Johnny's mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. Little Johnny looks and smiles and says, "Do you want to tell her or should I?"

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?

All they said was, "Bach, Bach, Bach..."

What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

I was wondering why the basketball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

My wife thinks I'm immature, so I told her to get out of my fort.

Women: “Men used to go to war, now they go to clubs.”

Men: “Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked, now it’s $3.99.”

What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.

I made it, DON'T COPY!!!

Fortnite is just like high school. You get off the bus and start shooting everybody.

Can I get a HOYA?

What do you get when King Kong steps on Batman and Robin?

Flatman and Ribbon.

Parents: "I'm taking your toys to the orphanage." Kid: "Why?" Parents: "So you don't get bored there."

My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.

If things don't get better, the Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging.

Why can’t Michael Jackson get within 500 meters of a school?

Cause he’s dead.

Why did the slave go to college?

To get his master's degree.

Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?

Son: Sure thing, dad!

Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!

Son: I don't get the joke, dad.

Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.

when Ted Bundy found out he was getting the death penalty, he was pretty shocked...