Hey guys, wish me luck on my game Al-Nassr vs. Raed Al-Raed. I have 604 million followers on Instagram, but we are not gonna be able to beat that. Can we get to 69 followers, please and thankyou?
How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?
Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.
Why do trans women make the best golf course grounds staff?
They’re enthusiastic about getting rid of unwanted balls.
Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”
Dad: “Call me George.”
I asked an emo girl, "Do you ever get jealous of your phone when it dies?"
Why is Joe Biden afraid of getting COVID?
Because he'd lose his sense of smell.
How did Michael Jackson get away with it?
He's a smooth criminal.
Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for his birthday?
Because it has no home button.
Your mom is so fat that she can't get internet because she is worldwide.
What did the orphan say to the other orphan?
"Get into the Batmobile, Robin."
I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.
"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.
Let's play carpenter. First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.
What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?
Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.
What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing "Never Gonna Give You Up"?
You get PRICKrolled.
Question: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in 5 months?
Answer: The box said 3-5 years!
You know why emos get excited playing Minecraft? They see a creeper.
What's the difference between an orphan and cotton?
One gets picked.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple's actually get picked.
I don't understand why people get offended by incest jokes; they're so family friendly.
What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?
It's legal to get stoned.
