Get jokes

Sometimes, stairs get me down.

What's the same with shoes and slaves?

When they get loose, you tie them up.

Let's play carpenter. First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.

I asked an emo girl, "Do you ever get jealous of your phone when it dies?"

Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”

Dad: “Call me George.”

Why is Joe Biden afraid of getting COVID?

Because he'd lose his sense of smell.

My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.

My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"

When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple's actually get picked.

My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

Me: Demon Slayer.

My teacher: Why?

The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!

What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?

Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.

What did the orphan say to the other orphan?

"Get into the Batmobile, Robin."

What's the difference between an orphan and cotton?

One gets picked.

I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.

"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.

Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for his birthday?

Because it has no home button.

Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"

What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing "Never Gonna Give You Up"?

You get PRICKrolled.

You know why emos get excited playing Minecraft? They see a creeper.

Question: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in 5 months?

Answer: The box said 3-5 years!

How do you get a light bulb horny? You turn it on!