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Chuck: That's my sister, mister, and I'm gonna save her!
Red: snooore, snoooore
Silver: *straining to get outta buff eagle's grip*
Chuck: *goes super sonic speed and breaks outfit*
Chuck VS RED
Both LOSE!
My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.
So I took down his confederate flag.
Why don’t women wear mini skirts in the winter?
Because they’ll get chapped lips.
A man is on his death sentence, and he gets to choose his last meal.
He asks his guard for a McDonald's Ice Cream, and lives a very long life. They never found a working machine.
What makes you guys high?
I get high when I have a dead fish in my lunchbox.
I get jealous when my phone dies.
I asked my sister to get me a cup of fruit punch. I realized she was taking a bit so I walk to the kitchen and noticed that she spilled it on herself. I asked her, "How did you do that?" but there was no response.
"My friend and her boyfriend were kissing until she puts her tongue down his throat, and what happens next is really weird."
The tongue gets stuck in his throat and starts to guh-guh-gughhh trying to get her tongue out of his throat, but it cumssssss out with spit all over his tongue, then they break up because he didn't want that to happen ever again...:/
How did Peter Parker get caught as Spider-Man?
Well, he weaved a really tangled web, and Aunt May saw it.
Question: What does tennis have that orphans don't get?
Answer: Love.
But he could only get 1 trade.
Time to go to New York to visit the Twin Towers.
They’re already getting closer.
So, you're human, huh? Well, I'm a skeleton, so not much gets under my skin.
Let’s try and make this joke the most liked and commented on this website. (Ps, you may need to say it out loud to get it.)
I went to a zoo and there were no people and there was one dog. It was a shih tzu.
"Me tells dad joke often."
"I want to hear it."
"Me? You wouldn't get it."
You're so ugly, even Smara gets jealous.
"Get a life, dum dums!"
Says the fucking moron.
Why did the toilet paper get to the bottom of the hill?
Because he went down the drain! - it's a bad joke, lmao.
Alright listen up you penis sucking chicken muching grape juice sipping BLACKIE!!! This is Explain Bear here to explain the joke. So the joke of “Why did the chicken cross the road” is that you expect it to be a funny punchline. But instead, you get a straightforward answer “To get to the other side” which is the logical explanation to that question. The humor is found in subversion to the subversion of expectation. Double whammy!!! So yeah that was another joke successfully explained by EXPLAIN BEAR!!!!! Dont forget to like and subscribe to my youtube channel, and until next time, BEAR OUT!!!!!!!
A young teen was walking home from school and having a nice day.
She gets home, eats, showers, and heads to her room. The young teen hears her mother say something. Not sure what she said, the girl replies with "ok."
The young teen was gonna head to bed, wondering when her mom was gonna come in and say goodnight. She lays in bed, but then she hears her mom's voice say, "Hunny, I'm home." She doesn't bother to say ok.
Later, when she decides to sleep, she gets a message from her mom saying to unlock the door, that she lost her keys. :)