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Suicide

My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.

My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"

Orphanage

Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"

Rick Astley

What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing "Never Gonna Give You Up"?

You get PRICKrolled.

Orphan

What did the orphan say to the other orphan?

"Get into the Batmobile, Robin."

Memes

9/11

I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.

"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.

Demon Slayer

My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

Me: Demon Slayer.

My teacher: Why?

The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!

Mom

Your mom is so fat that she can't get internet because she is worldwide.

Orphan

Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for his birthday?

Because it has no home button.

Vegan

What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?

Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.

Orphan

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple's actually get picked.

Emo

You know why emos get excited playing Minecraft? They see a creeper.

Blonde

Question: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in 5 months?

Answer: The box said 3-5 years!

Trans woman

Why do trans women make the best golf course grounds staff?

They’re enthusiastic about getting rid of unwanted balls.