Get jokes

How do you get bubblegum out of your hair?

Cancer.

Weather is like sex. Once in a while you need to get wet.

What do you get if you cross diarrhea with incest?

I don't know.

Neither do I, but it runs in the family.

What's the best thing about an abortion joke??

No one gets offended.

It's telling that Ye gets more offended when he's called a gayfish than a Nazi.

You can understand depression if you are still in school and get bullied by bullies, punished by teachers, and scolded by parents for being that quiet kid who says nothing.

Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?

It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence.

This dwarf was being mean to me, so I said, "When you get home, I hope Snow White kicks the shit out of you."

I don't get this. Why is it I go to an orphanage and all of a sudden they said I used to be the cutest baby there?

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.

I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.

I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.

Q. What do you get when you cross a mentally disabled person with a pedophile? A. Jeffy Epstein.

Hey guys, wish me luck on my game Al-Nassr vs. Raed Al-Raed. I have 604 million followers on Instagram, but we are not gonna be able to beat that. Can we get to 69 followers, please and thankyou?

I asked an emo girl, "Do you ever get jealous of your phone when it dies?"

Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”

Dad: “Call me George.”

Let's play carpenter. First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.

How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?

Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.

Why do trans women make the best golf course grounds staff?

They’re enthusiastic about getting rid of unwanted balls.

Why is Joe Biden afraid of getting COVID?

Because he'd lose his sense of smell.