Get jokes

I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.

I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.

Let's play carpenter. First, we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you.

Hey guys, wish me luck on my game Al-Nassr vs. Raed Al-Raed. I have 604 million followers on Instagram, but we are not gonna be able to beat that. Can we get to 69 followers, please and thankyou?

Why do trans women make the best golf course grounds staff?

They’re enthusiastic about getting rid of unwanted balls.

How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?

Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.

Why is Joe Biden afraid of getting COVID?

Because he'd lose his sense of smell.

My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.

My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"

Son: “Dad, did you get the results of the DNA test back?”

Dad: “Call me George.”

Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"

What's the same with shoes and slaves?

When they get loose, you tie them up.

What's the difference between an orphan and cotton?

One gets picked.

You know why emos get excited playing Minecraft? They see a creeper.

Question: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in 5 months?

Answer: The box said 3-5 years!

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple's actually get picked.

My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

Me: Demon Slayer.

My teacher: Why?

The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!

What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?

Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.

Your mom is so fat that she can't get internet because she is worldwide.

Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for his birthday?

Because it has no home button.

What did the orphan say to the other orphan?

"Get into the Batmobile, Robin."

I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.

"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.