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Alligator

    • A man walks into a bar with an alligator and a stick. He walks up to the bartender and offers to put on a show for the bar's patrons in exchange for a drink. The bartender agrees, so he pulls down his pants, sticks his dick in the alligator's mouth, and starts whacking it with the stick. After he's done and gets his drink, he asks if anyone else would like a go.

    A lady gets up and says yes, she would like a go, asks that he doesn't hit her with the stick.

  • 5
    • Get memes

    Penis

    • What's the a simulation between a penis and a Rubik's cube?

    The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

  • 1

    • Condom

    • Two brothers play on the street. One of them finds a condom on the ground. Not knowing what it is, they go to their mum and ask what it is that they found. Mum gets mad and yells to throw that away immediately.

    Guys go back to the yard, surprised why their mum got mad for just latex. One of them says: "Why did mum get so angry?" The other: "I have no idea, thankfully we did not tell her that we've eaten the yogurt inside!"

  • 3

    • Sweater

    • I still remember the third of December, me in your sweater. You said it looked better on me than it did you. Only if you knew how much I liked you. But I watch your eyes as she walks by. What a sight for sore eyes, Brighter than the blue sky. She's got you mesmerized while I die. Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, But you like her better. Wish I were Heather. Watch as she stands with her, holding your hand. Put your arm 'round her shoulder, now I'm getting colder. But how could I hate her, she's such an angel. But then again, kinda wish she were dead as she walks by. What a sight for sore eyes. Brighter than the blue sky. She's got you mesmerized while I die. Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, But you like her better. I wish I were Heather. Oh, I wish I were Heather. Oh, oh, wish I were Heather. Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty. You gave her your sweater, it's just polyester, But you like her better. Wish I were-

  • 6

    • Eye

    • A child asks his father, "How do you get pink eye?"

    Son, I was told it’s from scratching your butt, then rubbing your eyes.

    Then the son asks, "How did I get Fungi?" As the father was about to answer, the boy says, "Ohh, so is it from scratching my stinky feet, then rubbing my eye?" ———-Fungeye

  • 0

    • Heterosexual men

    • Why do heterosexual men like to receive an anonymous blowjob at an adult bookstore? Because they don't want gay men and bisexual men in the LGBT community to find out that they also like getting their cocks sucked by men, but they don't want gay and bisexual men in the LGBT community to find out.

  • 0

    • Scam

    • Hello, Brudas, my name Badabeeyeabolamazoqanba. I, forty-eight-year man from Somalia. Sorry for bad England. I sold my wife for internet connect, and I am level thirteen in Roblacks. If you want to get batter in Roblacks, contact me at Gmail@borakoobama. Send me your bank account information and password. Than I well give you all the cotton you desire. Sorry for bad spelling. I kindergarden dropout.

  • 1

    • December

    • Why are people born in December, January, and February easy to get along with?

    They're cool and chill.

    House Party

    • House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.

  • 1

    • Game

    • Random words in my keyboard:

    The most annoying part of this game has always been that the players don’t know how much time it takes to get to the table before you start playing them.

    Rope

    • Boy: "Why can't you get a family?"

    Me: "Why can't you get a rope?"

    Boy: "What do you mean?"

    Friend and me: "We can show you."

    Me: "I will tie the rope."

    Friend: "I will push the chair."