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What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

Butt plug, oh butt plug, get out of me.

Butt plug, oh butt plug, get in my mouth, oh how I wanna taste you.

Oh, butt plug, oh butt plug, something is nutty.

What did Hitler say to the sheep, "Baaarrrrrrr!" Hahaha, get it, sister? Am I rightttt?

Let’s try and make this joke the most liked and commented on this website. (Ps, you may need to say it out loud to get it.)

I went to a zoo and there were no people and there was one dog. It was a shih tzu.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

Why did Alice from Wonderland get her butt stuck in the rabbit hole at first? Because she probably ate too many hamburgers and drank too much wine just out of nowhere, then told her butt to hold it in before more food pops out.

Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road? Cause it got stuck in the crack.

*If you don't get it, it got stuck in the butt crack.*

Why do nuns go around in pairs?

So one nun makes sure the other nun doesn't get none!

How did the Java programmer's son get rich?

Because of inheritance.

Why did Sally's pizza get cold? Because she has no arms.

Why was Stephen Hawking late to the NASA meeting?

He couldn't get up the kerb.

How do people in Alabama get circumcised? You knee your sister's jaw...

How do you get 100 Pikachus on a bus?

- Pokémon

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the gay guy's house. Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.

NASA is going to probe Uranus, and it might take a while to get there.

Dad: "Honey, I'll be right back. I need to get some papers."

Me: "Okay." *Falls asleep.*

*Wakes up in an adoption center.*

Damn, it was those kind of papers.

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.

As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"

Hello, Brudas, my name Badabeeyeabolamazoqanba. I, forty-eight-year man from Somalia. Sorry for bad England. I sold my wife for internet connect, and I am level thirteen in Roblacks. If you want to get batter in Roblacks, contact me at Gmail@borakoobama. Send me your bank account information and password. Than I well give you all the cotton you desire. Sorry for bad spelling. I kindergarden dropout.

Roses are red,

My nuts are bigger than your small balls, that's why I get all the bitches.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.