Get jokes
What did Africa say to the grass? Get off me!
What does a pirate say to the president?? Spread your legs so I can get my treasure back.
You're so ugly and fat, and you're so lazy you can't even get your ass up and walk.
What does a student always get on an alphabet test?
A!
What did the fork say to the cake when he said, "I hope you get eaten?"
Fork off!
Memes
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Want to hear a dad joke? Look in the mirror. You get the joke.
Why can't the orphan get the big bag of chips?
Because it's family-size.
How do you put a baby in the blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?
How do you get it out? Tortilla chip.
You ever get the feeling when your parents are cheating on you? I do.
Why did I cross the road to might get hit by a car or a bus?
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
How did Peter Cottontail get his swing on? He made love to Alice in Wonderland.
My mom told me to get dressed, and I said, "For what? Are we going to the rodeo?"
Why have kids? Just go get one now, no nine-month delay.
Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?
A. Sunday school!
Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.
There are 2 dads and 2 sons. They all caught a fish.
Why did they only come home with 3 fish?
(Answer)
There were a grand-dad, dad, and son.
If you don't get it, then it means grand father is the dad to the dad (1 dad). Dad is the dad for the son and a son for the grandfather. Get it?
How do mountains get big?
They go trick-or-treating.
Why did the number 5 get voted out of the game in the 1st round? Because he was an odd man out!
What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?
Cassie.
Get it?