Get jokes
Whenever I order coffee, I always get the depresso with extra depresso sauce.
Dark humor is like a home; not everyone gets it.
What does a kid at Epstein Island and MAGA supporters have in common?
They both can't get Trump's dick out of their mouth.
What do you call getting gonorrhea from a disabled person?
A slow clap.
Why did I buy the orphan an iPhone 12? Because he couldn't get home.
When Chuck Norris breaks a mirror, the mirror gets 7 years of bad luck.
If you ever get mad at an orphan, punch them in the face... What are they going to do, tell their parents?
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window, and jumps out.
The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.
The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!”
The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window, and jumps out.
The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down, and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar.
The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT!
The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.” I know.
Why are there no good Indian actors? Because all the good ones are trying to get your bank details over the phone.
What do you get if you eat sugar?
High.
A girl in the shop was getting bullied. She came to me saying, "I’m getting bullied." I told her, "Stand up for herself."
What did one orphan say to another orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"
Why did Steven Hawking's snot not go to heaven?
Because there is no ramp to heaven.
"Dad, did you get a haircut?"
"No, I got them all cut!"
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead, I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
What did rapper Pop Smoke get high off of? Cigarettes with Pop and Smoke.
An attractive man and a blonde meet in an elevator.
"Where are you heading today?" the man asks.
"I'm going down to give blood."
"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"
"About $30."
"Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100."
The woman, slightly annoyed, gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again.
"Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?"
"Sperm bank," she mumbles with her mouth full.
What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?
Smash.
(Get it?) 9/11.
Why can orphans get away with being bad at school? Because when the teacher says, "I want to have a parent/teacher conference," they just go about their day.