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Orphan

Why do orphans hate Batman the movie?

Because at least he gets noticed by people, and also he stole their life story!

Priest

What is the difference between the subway guy and a priest?

The subway guy didn’t get away with it...

Video Game

My wife said she would slam my head into my keyboard if I did not get off video games.

But don't worry I think she was just joking.

Christmas

Why don’t Chinese kids get to celebrate Christmas?

'Cause they're the ones making the toys.

Memes

Orphan

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

One actually gets picked.

Loop

If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.

Cum

I was lip to lip yesterday, and now I can't get the cum out of my mouth.

Momma

Yo momma is so fat, her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.

Gun

Your soul is black. I have 4 guns, little kid. Get in the van before I shoot you!

Sister

Chuck: That's my sister, mister, and I'm gonna save her!

Red: snooore, snoooore

Silver: *straining to get outta buff eagle's grip*

Chuck: *goes super sonic speed and breaks outfit*

Chuck VS RED

Both LOSE!

Screen

Why does Stephen Hawking need some screens?

He needs to win those Fortnite tournaments and get to Champions League.

Fat

Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"

Orphan

Why does an orphan always get the newest iPhone?

Because so he does not have a home button.