Get jokes

My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.

A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"

What disease do you get from shoving a dirty, rusty piece of metal up your ass? Tetanus.

How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?

You poke it on.

Roses are red, Violets are twisted, Come back to my place, You might get fisted.

You will never see a redneck opposing a war.

He will instead say, "Wait, I get to kill people and it's not illegal? And they're foreigners?"

Why do people adopt orphans?

They get cash.

Study tip: Laminate your notes so they don't get damaged by the tears!

Yo mama's so ugly that Sonic needed to go fast to get away from her face.

Why can’t orphans get married in Alabama?

Because they don’t have a sister.

Why can’t orphans have phones?

Because it has a home button.

Why don’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t get a home run.

Why did the rapper start gardening?

He wanted to get more ROOTS in his rhymes.

Why did the rapper go to school?

To get a degree in RHYMEOLOGY!

What do your BF and the Twin Towers have in common?

They both never get erect.

Yo momma is so fat, her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.

Why did I buy the orphan an iPhone 12? Because he couldn't get home.

In 2023, I hope we all get wiped out like the dinosaurs.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples get picked.

What's better than having unprotected sex? Getting an abortion.

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Jack: Hey Josh!

Josh: What?

Jack: Sex!

Josh: Huh?

Jack: SEX!!

Josh: I don't get it.

Jack: Exactly ;)