Get jokes
When does an emo get jealous at a phone?
When it dies.
Q: What do you get when the cow jumped over the barbed wire? A: Udder destruction!
Yo momma is so ugly, she gets rejected by dead people.
My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple? Apples get picked.
Memes
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!
I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.
Why did the panda cross the road to get to the bamboo house?
Why can't orphans get a job?
Because they don't have a home.
What are the similarities between orphans and unripe strawberries?
None of them get picked.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.
Why do people hate math? They always get hungry while learning about the pie chart.
Why does the Queen play poker on the toilet?
Because she always gets a Royal flush!
Why did orphans play Poppy Playtime?
To get a family.
Q. What do filicide jokes and filicide victims have in common?
A. They never get old.
POV: You accidentally get H in your IV drip.
What happens when a cow farm gets destroyed, then built up again?
It'll be udder renovation!
What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball?
One gets picked for games.
Milk makes you tall, right?
Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?
What do you call it when a cow gets disciplined by her parents?
Grounded beef.