Get jokes

What do you get when you cross a lesbian and a platypus? I lick a lot of pussy.

Can emo kids get happy meals?

What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?

My dad went to get both and never came back.

Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.

Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.

My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.

So did my friend on the right.

I had a dream of skiing.

You and your sister always get into a fight and she says, "I don't care." Then you say right away, "About you!"

Yo momma's so fat, when she gets in a monster truck, it turns into a lowrider.

Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?

For fingering the minor.

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?

Frostbite.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

What did the Mexican say when a house landed on him?

Esé said, “Get off me, homes!”

Emos get jealous when their phone dies.

Why are graveyards so popular? Because people are always dying to get into them.

Knock it out, you poo-a-loo, go get your loo.

I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"

I wonder why the baseball was getting larger and larger, then it hit me.

What do you get if you cross hot wheels, hot legs? Hehe.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the side that he was not on.

Two gays are getting ready for Christmas... They are expecting a big package in the mail!