Get jokes
Mom: I'm going to the shop. If someone is at the door, don't open it.
Me: Ok.
*Ring*
Me: Opens the door.
Oh sh*t!
Mom: Gets flip flop.
What do you get if you cross hot wheels, hot legs? Hehe.
What do bubbles get when they’re sick?
The suds.
Why do orphans love tennis? It's the only love they get.
In tennis, 0 points is love.
Why didn't Michael Jackson get away with messaging with kids? Because they were all juveniles.
me now & go look at one of my first posts on here
No matter how lonely you get, you have Explain Bear.
Explain Bear is always there for you.
Dark humor is like having parents, not everybody gets them.
How do you get a monkey off the wall?
You jerk him off!
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.
Sometimes, you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.
Why did Marxism never catch on in England?
Because then it would be impossible to get proper tea.
Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.
What did the man who had sex with an Instagram model in the reverse cowgirl position while going 90 on the freeway get charged for?
Driving under the influencer.
I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"
Q: What's the difference between a CEO and a beer can?
A: Beer cans don't bleed when they get shot.
Do you know why they call me battery saver?
I get turned on when it’s below 10%.
What does a pregnant slave and a "pay less" sale have in common?
Buy one, get one free.
The term "every 60 seconds" is so stupid.
You know Africans don’t get seconds.
What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?
Getting her husband's voice just right.
Why was Trump banned from music class? He kept putting his finger on D minor.
What was Clinton encouraged to get in college? A minor.