Get jokes
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.
Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
They're not jokes, they're notes now, get me?
I am in trouble.
I was in Afghanistan and I had been captured by the Taliban. I was going to get the death penalty.
Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and offered to take the penalty. It was my idolo Penaldo. He missed the penalty. Now I will die. Shame on u Penaldo!
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.
She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
Memes
When you get injured 😢
When you get injured in America 😭😭😭😭💵💵💵💵💵🏩🏩🏩
Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast! Get it? Lol.
Why did the chicken cross the road to get to the playground?
How can you get 3 homos to sit on one barstool?
Turn it upside down.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Why do orphans go to the market?
To get the milk their parents didn't bring back.
When does an emo get jealous at a phone?
When it dies.
Q: What do you get when the cow jumped over the barbed wire? A: Udder destruction!
Yo momma is so ugly, she gets rejected by dead people.
My dad said he'd get the milk, but he forgot I was in his car.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple? Apples get picked.
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!
I was in math class when my teacher gave us homework, and she said to me, "You're gonna get an F this time." So I went back home, and f**k my teacher.
Why did the panda cross the road to get to the bamboo house?
Why can't orphans get a job?
Because they don't have a home.