I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.
Nothing much, I just decided to go home.
Get Jokes
Do you like soccer? My favorite player is Ronaldo, but we can still get Messi.
What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barber-queue.
I can't take my dog to the pond anymore because the ducks keep attacking him. That's what I get for buying a pure bred dog.
I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.
Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.
What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician?
Chelsea Clinton.
A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
Where do babies get baptized?
So the priest can wash their sex toys.
All countries will get Covid.
Except China, they got it right off the bat.
What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?
Getting her husband's voice just right.
How did you get into the tampon 100?
Pull some strings!
Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!
Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!
Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)
How do you break up a fight between two gay men?
Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"
My girlfriend told me her lips were dry, and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk.
Two guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. The cop taps the window, and the window rolls down. "Good evening, gentlemen, we're looking for two pedophiles."
The guy quickly closes the window. Ten seconds later, he lowers it again and says, "Ok, we'll do it."
Police officers hope youβre a criminal.
Doctors hope you get sick.
Mechanics hope you get car troubles.
But only thieves wish you prosperity.
Weird?
Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.
