Get jokes

Alya, I need to talk to you now. If you don't reply, I will kermit the not living, and if you don't think I will, I will post your OnlyFans photos I get every month for $5.99 a week (high price if you ask me)!

My ex was so full of shit, she probably poured toilet cleaner in her nose to get relief.

Why did Naruto run fast?

Because he tried to get away from himself.

Life is like a box of chocolates. It gets finished pretty quickly if you're a fat guy.

Gwen, let's chat at night for about 1 hour! I want to get to know each other better!

P.S., it's Jake.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

They can’t get to home run!

My chocolate babe is calling my name, and now I'm about to get my chocolate freak on.

You know that your grades are bad when you get a 66% on a test and your grade goes up.

What did one ghost say to the other?

"Get a life!"

What does a kite and a criminal have in common?

They both get high.

Get shanked with a lamb shank with a stinky pampa in the tolpan.

I need to get new shoes; one of these isn’t right.

Chuck: Do you have holes in your underpants?

Teacher: No, of course not.

Chuck: Then how do you get your feet through?

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.

Then it hit me.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Snow.

Snow who?

Snow use, you wouldn't get it.

Why did the Texas cow own its own dachshund?

The cowboy told it to "get along little doggie."

I'd tell a science joke, but I was like, "Nah, it would get no reaction."

A guy entered a library and wanted to get some books to read. He was searching across the books, and the librarian asked him,

Librarian: What are you looking for?

Man: I am looking for a book!

Librarian: Which book?

Man: Facebook.

Do not tell an orphan family meeting; they wouldn't get it.

Why can't antelopes get married?

Because they can't elope.