Get jokes
Q: What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan?
A: Apples get picked! 😱
Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?
They get to walk themselves down the aisle.
Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies.
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
How is sex like air?
It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
Men
Somebody: Do you even eat and get sleep?
Me: I have depression, what do you think?!
Subway trying to commemorate 9/11: CRASH INTO SUBWAY THIS SUBTEMBER 11TH TO GET 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR ONLY $9.11, THAT'S 2 FOOTLONG SUBS FOR $9.11 AND WATCH THEM FALL... INTO YOUR MOUTH!
You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? One of them gets picked.
Q: Why did Bill Cosby get away with it?
A: Because the women were all Cosby-ing for it!
Dark humor is like water; not everyone gets it.
I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.
Are you a border? 'Cause I can't get over you.
Jesus saved me from eternal fate, but I didn't want to get saved. I was about to fight Satan on Final Destination before facing and kicking God's ass.
What do an orphan and an apple not have in common?
The apple actually gets picked.
Why do orphans never get a car?
Because their parents need to buy them one.
Guys, stop making funny jokes of orphans. What, their parents are gonna get mad? Oh wait, continue.
What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Why did the emo person cross the road?
TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE Haha.
What do you call it when a man gets high in Panera Bread?
Panera sped.