Get jokes
What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.
So, you're human, huh? Well, I'm a skeleton, so not much gets under my skin.
What did the tree say when it gets horny? My wood has a splinter.
The only difference between apples and orphans is apples actually get picked.
What did the bison say to his son leaving for school?
"Bye son!"
Get it? Bye son, Bison!
Memes
What did Sally get for her birthday? A football!
Only joking; she hasn't opened the box yet.
Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Why don't ants get sick?
Because they have anty-bodies.
How does the author of Harry Potter get around?
She walks, JK, Rowling!
Why do they have fences around cemeteries?
Because people are dying to get in.
What do you get when you cross a belt and a watch?
A waist of time.
I wondered why the baseball was getting closer...
Then it hit me!
I knew this one guy who liked to swim with the fishes, then the mob got a hold of 'em...
How do you get a million Pikachus in a bus?
You shove them on!
Money means nothing to me. Ask me for it, you will get nothing.
What time do babies get dirty?
Playtime.
What do you get when you eat a hamburger?
Mustard gas.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? One of them gets picked.
Q: Why did Bill Cosby get away with it?
A: Because the women were all Cosby-ing for it!
You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”