Get jokes
What do girls and rocks have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples actually get picked.
I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."
Dark jokes are just like water.
Not everybody gets it.
What's a word that starts with "m" and ends in "airage" and all men like it?
Miscarriage. The joke never gets old just like the baby.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he wanted to get to the other side. LOL.
What do you get when you throw a pile of dead babies into a fryer?
Kentucky Fried Children!
What's it called when you eat those same babies?
Finger Lickin' Good!
Donald Trump is getting all the perks of 2020. He got COVID and lost his job.
Why did Stephen Hawking go to Hell?
He couldn't get up the stairway to Heaven.
Why did the chicken kill himself?
To get to the other side.
The news of the brother getting sucked off regularly by his sister spread really fast... all over her face 🤤.
What do you call a person who wants to be punched a lot?
A clout chaser.
Search up "clout meaning" if you don't get it.
Hot shingles in your neighborhood wanting to get nailed.
Why is my dick like a balloon?
The more you blow it, the bigger it gets.
Time to go to New York to visit the Twin Towers.
They’re already getting closer.
Teacher: Why did you throw paper airplanes at the twin sisters?
Me: You wouldn't get it.
What does one boob say to the other boob?
If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.
How do you get a clown off your swing?
You shoot it.
Q: Why are gay people never late for their flight?
A: They get their shit packed the night before.
A woman brought her hamster to the vet. The vet takes a look and concludes the hamster died.
The woman doesn't believe it and requests further investigation. So the vet lets in a Labrador. The dog sniffs around the hamster and shortly after he produces a sad whine, shakes his head and leaves the room with his tail low.
The woman, still not convinced, demands more examinations. The vet gets one of his cats. It walks around the hamster and pets it. After some time it shakes her head and runs off quickly.
"Fine, I believe you now," the woman says, "my beloved hamster is dead." "I'm sorry for your loss," the vet replies. "Your bill for this visit will be 1505 dollars," says the vet. "What? 1505 dollars just to tell me my hamster is dead?" The woman says shocked.
The vet replies: "No, 5 dollars to tell your hamster died, 500 dollars for the lab report and 1000 dollars for the CAT scan."