Get jokes

There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"

The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

What's common between the penis and a Rubik's cube?

Both get hard when we play with them.

What's the difference between a cop and a bullet?

When a bullet kills someone, it gets fired.

What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.

How do you get gum out of your hair? Cancer.

Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.

Get the whip, you're out!

Why do lesbians get their belly button pierced?

So they have a place to hang the air freshener.

Person 1: How the freak did you get in my house?!?! I locked the door!!!

Person 2: But I'm your mom... I have a key. You dumbass.

Gen Z is most likely going to be the last generation who felt the pain of getting up early to catch their favorite show.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

Robin, get in the car.

If I like having sex and get with 15 people, are they getting sexified?

Clarie: I don't even care if it was a joke he made on me, you and Karlen, and if you think I'm getting over it, then you must have an oatmeal for a brain.

Jordan: Clarie ... you are so sensitive when she tells a little joke about you, me, and Karlen.

Clarie: It was painful!

Jordan: Who cares? I laughed. Ben is not a bad person, okay, calm down.

Clarie: Ben is a bad person. We are making friends with a bully/thug, but you say that he is not a "bad person", my mom is going to kill me if she finds out that I am hanging out with those kinds of people!

Jordan: Then don't tell her! Listen, I need you, give Ben a chance! Please?

Clarie: Shush, Karlen is coming!

Karlen: Hey guys, that Ben guy for sure has a way of saying words, I wish I could hurt him!!

I hate it when disabled people get bullied...

... because they can't stand up for themselves.

I'm not sure how I'm going to get to Heaven.

God had not built a ramp yet... or an escalator.

Dark humor is like a cancer, it's funnier when a kid gets it.

Why did the orphan get an iPhone X for his birthday?

Because the iPhone X doesn't have a home button.

I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.

What does Jesus do when he gets nervous? He bites his nails.

Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"

Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"

What's the difference between me and an egg?

An egg gets laid.