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If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?

Tony Abbott's career.

If you got a priest, a Rhodes scholar, and a politician in a room, what would you get?

The Royal Commission.

Alternatively, Tony Abbott.

Waitress: What can I get for you?

Me: I'll have a steak.

Waitress: How would you like it?

Me: Immediately!

Teacher on school bus everybody sit down now the bus is about to start Ben: I’m not going to sit down I don’t want to, Teacher: you have to or else u have to get off the bus, Teacher: “stands up” Ben: then u should get off the bus cause ur not sitting.

Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police... Who? It's the police, let me in so I can get some donuts!

What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?

She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.

what did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob.... if we dont get some support soon people will start to think we are balls.

there are perks to bringing a emo to the grocery store you can get coupons by scanning their wrist