How do crazy people get through a forest?
They take the psycho-path!
Get Jokes
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
Why did Jake cross the road? To get a Hagen Daz bar.
Where do boats go when they get sick? The dock.
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
Gloves!
JK, he hasn't opened it yet.
The radio is a player—it always gets turned on by lots of different people.
What do you get if you add "ER" onto Hamburg?
Hamburg-ER.
My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.
What did Sally get for Christmas?
Cancer.
What do you get after a leper has a hot bath? ... Porridge.
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know, he hasn't opened it yet.
What do you call it when a person with Down syndrome gets friendzoned?
Chromozoned.
What did the pornstar say to the unemployed homeless man?
Get a fucking job.
Yo momma so stupid... weather man says it's chilly outside... instead of a jacket, she gets a bowl and spoon!
Why did the chicken enter the cave?
Because it wanted to get to the Dark Side.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.
After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.
The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"
The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
