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What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know, he hasn't opened it yet.
What do you call it when a person with Down syndrome gets friendzoned?
Chromozoned.
What did the pornstar say to the unemployed homeless man?
Get a fucking job.
Yo momma so stupid... weather man says it's chilly outside... instead of a jacket, she gets a bowl and spoon!
Why did the chicken enter the cave?
Because it wanted to get to the Dark Side.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
A man and a giraffe walk into a bar. The man orders a beer, one for him and one for the giraffe.
After they finish their drinks, the giraffe falls over, and the man gets his stuff and heads for the door.
The bartender says, "Stop! You can't leave that thing lying on the floor!"
The man says, "Mate, that's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
So, you wanna hear a joke about the wall?
... Actually, nah, you won't get over it.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
What did the homeless person get for Christmas?
- Nothing.
Two pedos are on the beach.
One pedo said, "Hey, get out of my son!"
Why did Wi-Fi and the computer get married?
Because they had a connection.
Muslims commit suicide to go to Paradise and get 72 virgins... I just go to the local primary school.
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
How do you get bubblegum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?
In case he gets a hole in one.
What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?
Cancer.
What's the difference between light and hard?
It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.