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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

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  • So, a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.

    Boy: "Hey mister, it's getting dark out and I'm scared!"

    Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

    Q: Why are gay people never late for their flight?

    A: They get their shit packed the night before.

    What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas?

    We dunno, she ain't opened it yet.

    What do you get when you cross breed a woman and a horse? A neigh-ga.

    Don’t have phone sex without protection, you might get hearing aids!

    If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...

    Little Johnny went to the doctor to get an infection checked on his penis. As the doctor examined it, he asked, "Lil Johnny how did you get an infection on your penis?" Johnny replied, "Well, the damn neighbor Sally's braces are too sharp."

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  • How did the blind Catholic get in a car crash? He asked Jesus to take the wheel.

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