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What's worse than getting raped in a cemetery? Finding someone else's semen in your mom's corpse.
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
The boy turns to the man and says, "Hey mister, it's getting dark out, and I’m scared... Can we go back now?"
So the man says: "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"
According to all known laws of aviation, a bee should not be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground, but of course, bees fly anyway because bees don't care about what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, Black. Yellow, Black.
What did the cholo say when the house fell on him?
"Get off me, homes!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's door.
Knock, knock!
It's the chicken.
Dark Humor is like a child with cancer. It never gets old.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
What first went through Sally's head when the Nazis came? A bullet.
Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.
What did Sally get for Christmas? A bike.
Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve.
My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.
Want to hear a joke?
My life. Get it?
Hey babe, I’m looking to get 23 years in 23 seconds, can you help?
What's the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop?
Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly.
When I get naked in the shower, it gets turned on.
Man, abortion jokes just don't get old, do they?
In fact, they don't age at all.
How many times does 43 go into 8?
Get in the van and find out.
What did the Mexican man say when his house fell on him?
"Get off me homes."
I'm happy that I named my dog "I Know What You Did." It's funny to see how much people get scared when I call him.
Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?
He was always tardy.
What do you get when you cross Donald Trump with Fregley?
Orange juice.
Why did Sally fall out of the swing?
She had no arms.
Why couldn’t she get up?
Because she had no friends.