New Get Jokes - Page 216 - Worst Jokes Ever

What’s the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person

You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message

What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?

Answer: cancer.

Donald Trump was golfing with Barack Obama. The Donald said, "Listen Barack, I'm getting older and I'm having trouble sexually satisfying my young wife. I know that you black guys are supposed to be magic in bed. Can you give me a few pointers?" Barack gave Donald a few ideas and that night Donald made love to his wife. He did everything he was told. He started out slowly entering his wife gently then finished hard. Melania came quickly screaming. "Oh Donald, You fuck just like Barack Obama."

How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? It takes two, but don't ask me how they get inside.

Jim walks into a bar and asks for a shot of vodka. He then says to the barkeep, "Who's the toughest guy in here?"

The barkeep points to a man at the pool table. Jim then knocked him out and paid for the shot and left. He did this every Friday for 2 months. Finally, the barkeep is pissed because Jim keeps knocking out all of his customers. He then orders a gorilla and puts him in the bathroom.

Jim walks into the bar and gets another shot of vodka. He asks again, "Who's the toughest guy in here tonight?" The bartender points to the bathroom and says he's in there. Jim walks into the bathroom and everyone in the bar can hear yelling and screaming. The bartender asks, "What happened in there?" Jim smiles and says, "I don't know who that was, but when he wakes up tell him I put his fur jacket in the toilet."

How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.

How do you get them back out? Straw.

A man goes to a restaurant and asks for some chili.

The waiter said, "Sorry sir, this is an Asian restaurant."

So he stretches his eyes and says, "Oh herro, can I get some chiri?"

Yo mama is so fat, it took Nationwide 15 years to get on her side.

Q: Why did the toilet paper cross the road?

A: It did not want to get stuck in a crack.

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?

Gloves........ just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.

How do you get a fat girl to bed? Piece of cake.

What would Stephen Hawking do to get drunk?

Overcharge himself.

What's the best part about dead baby jokes?

They never get old.

What did the mentally retarded kid get on his test?

Drool.

You know what really grinds my gears? Robots and liars...for example that Stephen Hawking fella. He sure looks and sounds like a robot!! And a major liar too! If he wanted to show me how smart he really was he would have figured out how to get up out of that four wheeler and tell me how smart he is!!!!!