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McNeill's mom wrote a shopping list for supper:
cabbage _50
Carrots-50
Cooking fat -100
Onions_20
Tomato-20
salt-10
Total=250
She gave McNeill the list to get the ingredients.
McNeill took long to return home from the shopping.
His mom decided to call McNeill to ask why are taking long. McNeill answered, "I have all the ingredients, but I'm looking for total."
Dark humour jokes are like water; some get it, some don’t.
Guys, stop making funny jokes of orphans. What, their parents are gonna get mad? Oh wait, continue.
Question: What does tennis have that orphans don't get?
Answer: Love.
What does a blind man crying and an unplugged TV have in common?
Nothing can be seen when they get turned on.
Papyrus: Well come to the underground.
Sans: How was your falls?
Papyrus: G-g-good luck eve-ever ge-getting o-out.
Sans: Give me your balls!
Yo mama so fat, when she was wearing black by a bank which was getting robbed, they thought, "AHH SWAT!"
Fortnite is just like high school. You get off the bus and start shooting everybody.
Why do orphans not have cheese on their burgers? They don't have a dad to get milk.
Why did the Titanic cross the river to get to the bottom?
What did the north tower say to the south tower during the summer? Get ready for fall!
Why did the plane cross the road? To get to the other tower.
What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.
Amber Heard morning schedule:
- Wake up - Eat breakfast - Take a shit - Get out of bed - Shower
Why is it hard to break up with a Japanese girl?
Because you have to drop the bomb twice for her to get it.
Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a male. If you did not like it when you were a teenager, you probably will not like it when you become an adult.
What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?
Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.
My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Me: Demon Slayer.
My teacher: Why?
The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!
When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.
Bing, bang, boom!
What’s the difference between a Rubik's cube and a penis? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.