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Orphan

  • This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.

    So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."

    Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."

    Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"

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  • Lemonade

  • You know they say, when you get lemons make lemonade... Well, I took that a little bit too literal.

    Turns out squeezing your wife's tits as hard as you can hurts them.

    But at least lemonade came out!

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  • Sally

  • Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

    Why did Joe get hit by a bus? Sally was driving it.

    Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!

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  • Girl

  • Why did the sexy 12 year old girl with cerebral palsy get raped? Because her parents didn’t have the decency to drown her at birth.

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  • Penis

  • What do a penis and a Rubik's Cube have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

    Wife

  • So, one day I have a wife, but if it's getting a longer day, she is moving so weird, and I see she has sex with Rick Astley. 😂 [rickrolled]

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