There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum... and one night, one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they're going to escape! So, like, they get up onto the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moon light... stretching away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend didn't dare make the leap. Y'see... Y'see, he's afraid of falling. So then, the first guy has an idea... He says 'Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!' B-but the second guy just shakes his head. He suh-says... He says 'Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!โ
I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldnt get up out of his wheelchair, and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.
Yes, sir.
Four big guys and they grab on my thighs. Blow up my guts like the 4th of July. If they keep fuckin' my butt then I might just cry. Poop and semen sprayin' on my eyes.
He lick my dick and the cum start sprayin'. Charging up my dick I'ma go super saiyan. When he cum the fuckin' booty I don't do much playing. Then I whispered in his ear, like hey are you stayin'? He said yeah I'm not leavin'.
I guess he George Floyd, cause always leavin'. Not breathin' he chew on my dick like a baby. That's teathin' I'm fuckin' a nigga I think it's named Steven. Hawkin' f*ck him 'til he ain't walkin', dick stone-cold call him BBC. Austin It's a booty massacre when I visit him in Boston. Bought him new titties I don't care what they costin'.
Bitch, hop on the dick do a split. Shout out Lil Baby. My dick is as real as it gets, I'm not fuckin' on him if he don't have tits. I'm catchin' his balls like my name Kyle Bitz.
There's four Big guys, they're grabin' on my thighs. They blow my guts like the 4th of July. If he keep fuckin' my butt then I might cry. There's poop and semen sprayin' on my eyes.
Yes sir, that is a fact tho, take out my dick slip it in his asshole. Swinging my dick through the air like a lasso. Painted his face like Apollo Pocasso (ugh). But I'm not a very good artist, f*ck 'em all good 'til that. Nigga farted planted my seeds in his ass like a garden. The way I play with balls, you should call me James Harden.
Yeah, DigBar is elite, there's four big guys and I'm takin' their meat. I eat the boy's butt, Then I chase him with skeet. And I charge for booty, I promise DigBar Isn't cheap. And I count dudes when I sleep, not sheep, get up in my sheets. And I'm beatin' on my meat.
Bitch. We got four big guys and they grab on my thighs. And they gon' bust on my eyes.
So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, โLet my baby go, you sick bastard!โ The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, โIโm just kidding, it was already dead.โ
My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tryed to fight me so i said: IF you wanna fight me ill run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs ill already be down the stairs waiting and he started crying
What is a old lady's favorite exercise
Trying to get up form the soft couch
Papyrus: Sans I have a joke. What do you call someone lazy and incompetent . Sans: what do you call them? Papyrus: YOU! NOW GET UP AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM YOU LAZY BONES!
today a kid in a wheelchair was rolling around the class to get away from this one annoying kid so i told him " brayden just get up and walk away."
What falls down the building and doesn't get up again?
An emo.
Paralyzed Man: * gets up * Iโm out of here
Blind Man : Did that paralyzed man just get up
Deaf Man : did that Blind Man see that paralyzed man get up
Mute Man: did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up
Dead Man: did that mute man just say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up
โNormalโ Man: Did that dead man hear the mute man say didt that deaf man hear the blind man see the paralyzed man get up
Doctor: * calls 911*
911 service: 911 whatโs your emergency
Doctor: yes uh, a โnormalโ person just said taht did that dead man just hear a mute man say did that deaf man just hear the blind man see a paralyzed man get up
911 service: * hangs up*
HELP I'VE FALLEN AND I CANT GET UP!!!!
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... Thatโll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
What does a blind man and your dick have in common?
They both canโt get up without a dog.
Little Johnny is in class one day, and little Timmy starts laughing. The teacher says, "What's so funny?" He said, "I can see your bra strap." The teacher says, "Don't come back to class for a week," so he gets up and walks out. A few minutes later, little Billy starts laughing, and she asks, "What's funny now?" Little Billy said, "I can see both of your bra straps." The teacher says, "Get out of my classroom for a month." So little Billy got pissed, he walked out and slammed the door. This scared the teacher, and she dropped the chalk. She picked it up, then she stood back up, and she sees little Johnny walking out of the classroom. She asked, "Where do you think you're going?" He said, "Well, teach, after what I saw, I'm done with school for a lifetime."
I got up one day my neighbor was in my house and was going to take me, and my mom out. I show my mom and my neighbor a trick. They both liked it. I ask my neighbor do you know any tricks he said yes, in matter of fact I could tell you what your mom had for breakfast. I said how well my neighbor lick my mom ass, and ate her pussy out in front me. He told me my mom had pancakes. So we were in the car I ask my neighbor How did you know what my mom had pancakes for breakfast. My neighbor said well that is what your mom made me while we were waiting for you to get up.
Oh no, I feel bad for Stephen Hawking. He canโt get up the stairway to Heaven.
I'm Awake-By-watersharky- Ok,Ok OOO im so lit right now your life is so borin why you sleepin on me I can hear you snorin, AYE im so lit right now my dimons on that lit lit, why dont u just get up, Aye yea get im cause im awake boy, OOO im so lit right now your life is so borin why you sleepin on me I can hear you snorin, AYE im so lit right now my dimons on that lit lit, why dont u just get up. Aye yea get im cause im awake boy, Ok,Ok OOO im so lit right now your life is so borin why you sleepin on me I can hear you snorin, AYE im so lit right now my dimons on that lit lit, why dont u just get up, Aye yea get im cause im awake boy
Jordan u stupid ass! Addison never botherd u so leave her FUCK alone! How about this. get up go outside, stop being an jackass and get fucking life!
Teacher:here have candy Kid:no Iโm too fat Teacher:shut up or Iโm gonna fail u *next week* Teacher:ok kids get off the floor and go back to your seats Kid:Iโm too fat to get up Teacher:donโt u remember what I said Kid:yep elephants donโt forget
