Q:what's the hardest thing about losing your virginity A:making sure she doesn't wake up
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to.
Unless you are in prison
Don’t cry when you attend my funeral, I was dead long ago so why cry now?
Sans:Zzzzzzzz Papyrus:SANS WAKE UP!! Sans:What is it dude? Papyrus:A human has fallen from the surface world! Sans:And you gotta BONE to pick with 'em??
How do you get an orphan to go to sleep?
Tell them there parent are waiting when the wake up.
Why do orphans not care about sleep, because they have no one to wake up to
man: hi doc, i have a problem. i take a shit at 6:00am every morning. doc: whats wrong with that. man: i dont wake up until 8:00am
why do women rub there eyes when they wake up cuz they don't got balls to scratch
Where do pedofiles do when they wake up
Turn on the child safety lock on the car
When did I wake up?
At the quack of dawn
Two girls have a sleepover.
Karen: Let's go to bed. Lauren:Fine, but it's early. *Karen wakes up and exits room" *Lauren hears noise* Mikey: Your so much better than my girlfriend Karen. Lauren: *laughs* Lauren: *remembers her boyfriend is Karen's brother Mikey*
what happens when steaven hawkins wakes up from his sleep?
'log in'
Men wake up with a boner. Women wake up yawning. Coincidence?
Amber Heard’s Morning Routine
Wake Up Eat Breakfast Take a Shit Get Out of Bed
Mom: Wake up!
Me: No, I'm too disappointed and I have a headache...
Mom: Why are you disappointed?
Me: I took 12 random pills and I still woke up...
Man looks at his friend and says "if you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt would you tell anyone? " The friend says im a disgusted tone "No" So the man says "ok let's go camping"
What's worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?
Finding out it was traced
Define abnormal life.
Waking up everyday living a sane life!
Why do people shake ciggrate boxes? To wake up the cancer
Yo mama is so fat she wakes up on both sides on the bed
