German jokes
How could the German people fall for Hitler and the Nazis?
There were an awful lot of red flags!
In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.
His father pointed at a map of North America.
"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.
The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.
"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"
The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.
"Where is Germany again, Father?"
He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.
Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."
"Yes?"
"Has Hitler seen this map?"
It’s amazing just how paranoid Hitler was.
In Hitler’s Germany, it was illegal to make jokes about him or his regime.
Come on! Forbidding Germans from making jokes? Isn’t that a bit like forbidding Americans from eating salad?
What do Germans do to ask a question? They salute.
Did you hear about the German girl being raped by 10 men? She shouted, "nein, nein," so one of them left.
Q: What is Germany's favorite board game?
A: Nahtzee (Yahtzee).
I banged a German chick one time. I tried anal and asked her to rate the experience. She kept yelling "9! 9! 9!"
What do you say to an upset German?
Quit being such a sauerkraut!
German XP farms: Train carrying chained guys.
American XP farms: Walking up to a school with a gun.
African XP farms: Cotton field.
Me: "My grandpa killed 100 nazis."
My friend: "Well, my grandpa killed Hitler."
What do you call a blind German? Someone who can't Nazi!
I had sex with my German girlfriend; it was kinda weird though. She kept yelling her age. I don't know why.
When Hitler killed himself, he shot himself twice. The first one was Operation Barbarossa, and the second one was his death.
I took an hour-long shower. The German officers were looking at me kinda scared.
Why can’t Germans call a taxi? *does taxi calling motion*
Enough with the Nazi jokes.
They make me führeious!
Meaning behind the German flag: 🇩🇪 Black: culture Red: Beer Yellow: Sausage Blue: Winning world wars.
What did Hitler kill himself with? A "Nein"-millimeter.
A guy tried to suffocate himself with his BMW exhaust, but his engine failed.
This is the first time German engineering fails to gas someone.
I asked the little German girl to rate our sex between 1-10. She kept crying and shouting "9!"
That's the best I've done so far.